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Stages and Ages Dec 2014
Like a drug addict
I've gone to rehab and rehab and rehab.
I've relapsed and relapsed and relapsed.
Like a drug addict
I've learned to survive
Without those chemicals mixing signals in my brain.
I've learned that I can get by
Without the nicotine, the alcohol, the ****, the *******.
I can get by
Without the little spike of adrenaline
I feel when I'm in the same room as them.

Like a drug addict,
I've learned to survive
When you are not in the room
I've learned to get by
without the spike of adrenaline
I feel when you get close enough to touch me

Like a drug addict
I went through withdrawals
Because the doctors say a psychological addiction
Is worse than a physical addiction.

Like a drug addict
My only name is anonymous
Unless it is accompanied by you.
I spend too much time comparing people to drugs
Because I never noticed how addictive someone's presence could be

"They told us about the drugs
that came from little white baggies
But they never told us about the ones
that came with green eyes and a smile"
AJ Dec 2014
His nicotine tongue was the most conniving part of his existence.
Every time it made contact with mine,
I tasted Marlboros,
the only brand he would buy.
Whatever his nicotine tongue
did to mine sent me into
a tornado of insanity each time,
like I was one of his cigarettes,
but he put me out,
stepped on me,
before I could burn his lips.
His nicotine tongue told his mouth
to speak such brutal words
that would make me
fall in love with him
over and over,
lighting me up and up,.
He had never kept me lit,
put me out before I could
trick him into thinking
"love"
could be a hole
he could also fall in.
He had carried me
around in his pocket,
his nicotine tongue
telling him to fuel his craving
and pull me out,
wrapping his mouth
around me and breathing me in
until I was no more.
But the more he
breathed me in,
the more his
nicotine tongue
started to die.
I was toxic.
He never did fall in love with me,
but I did end up
being the one to
stomp
him
out.
two toxics can never mix
White noise,
is all i've ever been.


Funny how that changes when i've got a cigarette between my lips
and traces of nicotine on my fingertips.
aswium.
(n.) the mingled feeling of disappointment, frustration, and regret that results from an unsatisfactory situation.
Sam Knaus Nov 2014
I'm fairly certain that my voice
just went into the trash
along with my last cigarette that you just threw away
because I suddenly can't talk
and my chest is tightening with fear
at the thought of not tasting another kiss from nicotine.
Sam Knaus Nov 2014
I want to turn my self-hatred into something physical,
I want to keep feeling like death because
I'm so used to these feelings of guilt and regret-
in an ever-changing world, it's my constant.
You say you despise change-
then how on earth will you be able to stay by my side
as my eyes change with the seasons?
This nicotine tastes like (self) destruction
and I can't get enough of it,
because without it I could put the devil to shame
with the way my mind bends
and seems to snap away from reality,
leaving me shaking and seemingly broken.
The razor caressing my skin
takes my blood and breath but it gives me life.
This old journal I found reads about how
the voices in my head were trying to **** me,
the epitome of my anxiety
tears drip down my face,
I'm getting more light-headed with every passing moment
and I can't help but smile
despite the fact that I'd given up on life
a while back.
Up, down, my moods change with the hour
and these thoughts devoured my sanity
a long time ago.
You say you despise change-
how on earth will you be able to stay by my side
as I change with the seasons?
I literally wrote this in 25 minutes.
Awesome Annie Nov 2014
He said he caught himself thinking of my long legs when I was absent.

I froze...Silent and annoyed...

Perhaps he was over confidant when he leaned in and pressed his lips against mine.

I slapped him.

It made me feel cheap so I lit a cigarette. I inhaled deeply watching the smoke swirl... if I could just fade away with it.

Lights to bright and sounds that burst. My head hurts...I flick my ash.

Now he's frozen...just watching me.

Perverts and nicotine have the same stench. Both a bad habit I need to quit.
Missy Oct 2014
his eyes trace my figure as my fingers trace his
and when lips meet it proves of radiant bliss
but as soon as pale hearts meets the greeting night
then hips align like stars only to delight
as one we seek places of the highest standing
using directions written on love marked skin
once innocent, now dangerous
no question arises to contradict such action
for strangers eyes lead astray when they hear of our stories
but the novels we write are only locked and hidden
for those strangers would assure to steal them away
elegance and divinity are like those of vintage coffee shops
where broken hearts are mended with love stories, caffeine and nicotine
where our adventures are as priceless as the Mona Lisa
and no soul can buy or touch the love we express
frost-touched lips meet in the seldom disturbed fields
where thoughts gallops freely and laughs carry on caressing breezes
for we out number the night's stars in moments made into memories
and our touch burns hotter than the smoldering sun in the Sahara
desires dig deep as our roots of commitment
while seconds pass  by without your sheer image
for our novels live on, as we tangle around each other
and passion gleams farther in fields with cold breezes
darling, our love is stronger than imaginable
for with you, your more addictive than hot caffeine in the morning
stronger impulse than nicotine in a life-long habit
your love, our love
we are forever infinite
Revenant Oct 2014
You are the cool night breeze through my hair. You are the cigarette smoke in the air.
You are the stinging in my mouth. You are the place I want to build my house.
You are the kiss on my face. You are ancient feelings now misplaced.
You are crystal clear waters and the mud on my tires. You are the night we claim as "ours".
You are heated breath and sleepless hours.
You are the flames and explosions unto my towers.
Jessie Sep 2014
The crackling
as you inhale
the thick
     Smoke
          Knowing
that each Breath
brings you
closer
to death.
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