I was the mouse to be caught for eight years.
From birth,
I learned to run,
to hide in small, ***** places where no one aimed to be to safety.

The cat was born for this.

And when it lost sight of me for two or three, it grew hungrier, mapped out my footprints,
and salivated at the thought of my shape
as I cared less to scurry.

I forgot what it felt like to scatter, to feel like I was doing what I was built to do.
It was only over three that it saw me again saw I hadn't grown at all.

And so, it stopped searching.
I missed the tabby that clawed at my door not to catch me,
but to test my tiny heart and legs, and maybe, for my ego,
to get away with purpose.

I’m trying my best not to pull away when i feel unwanted, but i feel gravity pulling me by my arm

Even as i dig my heels into the rugged ground to try and stay

I can feel the string that tethers us try to fray

I keep re-tying the knot

Over.. and over.. again

I want to stay

Please help me feel that way

She said she can’t love you for more then two days

And yet you both still act like a couple

But if i were to love you, i would love you for eternity

I would love you every waking moment if you only gave me a chance

And the sad part is, i can never say that i love you more then friends

Because you love her

And she might love you

And i’ll forever be the third wheel

I know you both rather it just be you two

I can tell by the way you look at me

By the way you look at each other

By the way i walk away and you don’t follow

I didn’t forget you, baby—
I’ve just been a little absent.
You see... it’s a boy.

He says sweet things,
Likes my smile,
Says my voice is heaven,
Notices my earrings.

I didn’t forget you, baby—
It’s just that I don’t want to cry.
You’ve held my pain,
Every word etched with blood.

His family seems nice,
The kind from the movies.
He wants to ride a horse.
He makes me blush.

I didn’t forget you, baby—
You seem far away.
I can’t run this fast.
We’ll meet again...
Maybe tomorrow.

Who am I in this vast, open earth of different species
A species of the human race created from a clot of blood in the womb of a woman
One of a billion or more humans all created in the same way
But why was I created, what is my purpose on this vast earth
For surely nothing was created without purpose, otherwise why create at all?

So I was born in a hospital somewhere and there was happiness all around upon my arrival.
A new addition to the family someone to carry on the family name
I came into this world crying and all around me people were laughing with joy
If my arrival brought happiness why was I crying so much?
And so begs the question who am I and why was I created?

Like all humans, I was given a name to identify and make me unique.
Different cultures have different ways and different ceremonies to name their newborns.
But how come of all the species on this earth only human beings have names
Why don't animals, birds, insects who also produce offspring don't give names

So why was I created and what is my purpose on this earth?
I am still trying to find that out, just like a billion other human beings
After all, it cannot be that we were just put here on this earth
Everything that is here was put here for a purpose, a reason

I am sitting at a roadside café relishing the taste of freshly brewed coffee.
The waiter who brings me my coffee and croissants knows why he is there
To ensure the food and drinks I have ordered get to me on time
The right things are delivered to the right people at the right time

I also know why I am at the roadside café sipping hot coffee and enjoying hot delicious croissants.
I am searching for the answer to my lifelong question
Who am I?
I gaze deeply into my coffee, hoping to find the answer there
But all I see is a hot brown liquid with a fresh sensory smell

Can you make a friend— like a craft project?
I know, I hear this parental voice, “just be yourself.”

All of my classes this semester will be in one building, but I’m a control freak, I wanted to walk my schedule, go class to class, like I will on my first day. I have a locker too—this is so high school—but I wanted to find it, try the combination and plan what I’ll carry. I have questions too, like how’s the wi-fi, are there charging outlets, and where can I get coffee?

Orientation is Tuesday—but who can wait until Tuesday? Classes start Wednesday.  I’d never sleep this weekend with so many questions. I’m already having dreams where I’m lost, late and embarrassed.

So there I was, this morning, dressed for class with my green messenger bag—doing it—schedule in hand. I went into a small auditorium with cushioned, crimson, theater seating—where my first class will be—and there’s this other girl, dressed for class, schedule in hand.

We were like twins, except she’s tall and black and I’m not. Right off she commanded me, handing me her phone, no preamble, no “How do you do,” to “Take my picture.”
Of course, I obeyed, I’m not from outer space. I burst 50 quick frames, as she slightly varied her pose and she did likewise for me.

Her name is Chella and she graduated from Yale last week too, with a ‘Bachelor of Science in Global Affairs.’ I think I saw her on campus once or twice but our paths had never directly crossed.
“But IS "Global Affairs" a science degree?” I asked skeptically.
“Probably not,” she answered, “but some of us can live with ambiguity.”
Her first direct, commanding phrase limns her personality perfectly.
Yeah, we hit it right off.
.
.
Songs for this:
Cruel To Be Kind by Letters to Cleo
Perfect Day by Povo
Are You Trying to Be Funny? by Everything But the Girl