I have this terrible feeling,
That im just not enough.
And no matter what i do or say
We were just a love story that never begun.

So much things to say
So much things to do
So much to feel
And not much at all
Too much
But
Too little

Am I selfish?
For asking more
To feel
To be felt
To see
To be seen
To speak
To be heard
To matter

Am I a narcissist?
For hoping so much out
Of love
Of perfection
Of attention
Of life

Too much but too little
Time to do
To prove myself

Too much but too little
Things to say
To make things
Go my way.

I have been through hell, beyond what anyone will truly understand.
There’s emotional damage that’s been done as consequence for having such an open and trusting heart.
I’ve fallen too fast, I’ve loved too easily, and I’ve trusted too many.
I am damaged and broken in ways that will never be mended.
I will never be who others want me to be because that is all that I’ve ever wanted to be.
My friends need me to be their crutch, my parents need me to be their perfectly well-rounded daughter, and the man I’m falling for,
well...
I just want to give him the best of me.
How does one pick and choose who to be for the ones they love, when regardless, the love almost always remains unreciprocated?
I would love to be their perfect daughter, but that’s not who I am.
I would love to be the perfect friend who picks up every call, but for reasons that I cannot control, that cannot be me.
I would love to be cared for, protected, and eventually loved unconditionally by the man who’s almost too perfect to be real.
But, I can't have the one person that makes me truly happy because everything else remains in my way.
I've been damaged,
broken,
bruised,
and used.
All I want is happiness, yet she shall remain a stranger to me until I find my escape from the overwhelming demands of everyone that I care for.