There she was on stage
The Theatre was packed full
Her face painted
Like a porcelain doll.

Lights shone down on her,
Red velvet curtains draped
It's like we were in
The Eighteen Hundreds

She was in full view
Her long black hair was
Camouflaged with her leotard

The spotlights must have
Blinded her eyes

She danced as
Delicately
As a feather,
Mystically and
Artistically,

It was entrancing to see
My friend who was
Starring the show.

The audience were captivated,
Gentlemen smoking their pipes
Nodding heads of approval,

Swift,
Soft,
Subtle movements
Mesmerised the greater crowd...

And then she speaks.

She speaks poetry
In so many words,
Words I can't relay,

I wish I could remember,
But I remember
How it made me feel;

How it made every one feel.

The strange eeriness
Mixed with elegance,
Her words harshly whispered
But true...

The crowd errupted
With applause
"Bravo" "Bravo"

And then I wake....



© Karen L Hamilton, 2012

Remember those days oh so long ago
When you were too little to understand life
Where everything was given to you
And you were just a cute little kid
Back when nothing really mattered

Back when outside was a battlefield
For Cowboys and Indians in the Wild West
Or Fairy Tale Kingdoms with wars and battles
Always with sword fights with sticks and branches
When the most important thing was merely being outside

Remember when the raindrops would race down the car window
And when you would wait for your dad to come home from work at night
The days you would ride your bike to the far reaches of the end of the block
There were the days you would go for hikes in the forest
Exploring places never before known by another

Back when going to bed was hiding from monsters
The ones living under your bed
Waiting for your dangling feet
But then flying away, you were whisked away to a far land
Where your dreams would catch your every wish

Remember back when going to bed was being scared of shadows on your wall
Waiting in your closet for you to fall asleep
Then to get you in your peaceful slumber
But shadows do nothing to a sleeping little child
Because who could do anything to a sleeping child?

Don't forget those summers where you would chase fireflies in the night
And the times where you might have even caught one
But they would never stay long enough for you to love them
As soon as you had them they would fly away
And you'd never know what you missed

Remember when you would beg your parents for a play date
Where your friend could come over and play
And stomping off when they said no
Like a spoiled baby you were, since your parents gave you everything
And they loved you, how could they not?

Never forget when you couldn't wait to grow up
To get behind the wheel of a car, and take a pretty ******* a nice date
When you couldn’t wait to get away from home
To go off and discover the world apart from your parents
But today, all you want is their warm embrace once again

Remember those nights when going to bed was your worst nightmare
When that was the biggest problem in your life
You would beg your parents to keep the lights on
And when the lights went out you feared you would never see light again
That your parents hated you, but how could they ever?

Those days in the morning you’d wake up
And your parents would sing you awake
They would make you breakfast before school
They would hug you before they left for the day
And they loved you, how could they not?

The outdoors used to be a battlefield of imagination
Yet today merely waking in the morning begins the battle
And each moment of each day only fuels the war
The present is filled with fears and anxieties
And you only wish you could be young once more

You used to hide from the monsters that lived under your bed
But now you hide from the monsters that lurk in your past
The monsters that wait for you to take a wrong step
Where they might then devour you
But what could save you from these monsters?

You used to fear the shadows on the wall
But now you hide from the writing on the wall
Writing that tells lies and denigrates you
Instilling fears deep in the recesses of your soul that you may not be enough
Who could ever dispel these lies from your thirsty soul?

You used to chase fireflies in the night, and you could never quite keep them
But today you chase your dreams
And even though you might catch them
They seem still to slip through your fingertips
What could possibly put dreams back into your hand?

You used to avoid going to bed at any cost
But now you wish all the day long that you might be able to sleep
That the exhaustion might finally leave you
And you could close your eyes and get some sleep
But what could renew your infinite weariness?

You used to beg your parents that your friend might come and play
But now you don’t even know who in your life you might call a friend
There are many that surround you that call themselves friends
That falsely claim they have you at the forefront of their minds
Is there anyone that could truly be a friend to one who has no friends?

You used to shutter when the lights went off in your room and the dark came in
But now you shutter at the darkness in life
For what could pierce through the deep darkness of this life?
And save you from the terror of yourself
What could deliver you from yourself?

Remember when you would feel the warm embrace of your parents
But now you long for something even half as warm as such
As you fled from your parents, the people who love you more than anything
And you wish you might be able to feel their warm embrace in the cold of night
But there is something you might find that would be even better than that?

It is in this terrible sadness and anxiety
Where you wonder where this cold world is taking you
And you wish that you were young again in your parents house
A place where you would be safe from harm
A place where you would feel no pain

There is such a place, and it is not your parents’ house
A place where God on High looks over you
And He has saved you from the monsters that plague your mind
God on High has dispelled the lies that you are not enough
For He came to save and deliver you from all things

He has come to give you dreams that will not slip from your hand
Dreams that will come true one day, where you will be satisfied
And He came to renew your strength and **** your weariness
He came so that you may have rest, so that you will no longer tarry
He came to renew all things

He came to be a friend to one who has no friends
To stand by those who are lonely and have to one to turn
He came to deliver you from yourself
To free you from the ******* you have set yourself in
For He came to make all things new

God on High came and renewed all things
His love is warmer than a mere hug from a mother or a father
It could make even the coldest person in the coldest place of this earth warm again
He came to give life to those who have no life
For He is God on High, and we are His children, no matter how old we grow to be

Our dreams haunted us like winter kisses skin,
The type of linger that often speaks of sin.

It is unforgettable, the atrocities committed that day,
Now Little Samuel has no daddy with whom he can play.

Had we regretted it, upon seeing color leave his face?
We were too preoccupied to think, as, back home we raced.

Now I wonder how long he laid there in the snow,
Due to disturbed children he didn't even know.

I am from the tears of an aged woman,
who cried happily to a worn down man.
I am from bare grass,
where my shoeless feet felt the gentle blades,
and my tender hands gripped the bark.

I am from the countless fights,
the destructiveness of different personalities
all forced into one home.
I am from the coffee-stained house,
from the  yeses and no's,
from the broken glass.
I am from the ballerina-pink room
where I spent most of my time.

I'm from the unwelcomed situations,
naked and unbearably lost.
From the broken bones,
to the broken hearts.
I am from emotions.

There, in my mind,
all these memories,
good and bad,
are the important stuff.
I am from what she made,
but I created,
and I will destroy.

herein lies common fault - loosely hanging on a speculative conjecture
     than exact detail.

mind's prison- asylum.
you go in to see furtive showcases
of the many names walking without
faces. you went in without invitation. only or abstract solicitation.

there is something that sinks
deeper than marrow, blows colder than December winnow, something that burgeons beyond naked sense.

inside this lair,
conflated you are with bent question marks to their distinct, curved smallnesses. you peek into the window of my eyes and inside this airless vault, we are both
heavy with staring at each other
dripping and bare-all, yet
this rigmarole of eyes contain
their visceral silences still.

i stripped them all of their voices
and they only look at each other
with onerous eyes, pondering
about their places, answerless
and just whirling in capacitous space --

Depression
Is when
You want to do something
But lack the motivation
And feel like you
Can do
Nothing.
Depression
Is when
You feel an overwhelming sadness
That does not go
Does not ask
But simply stays
As it slowly puts out
The fire
In your heart.
Depression
Is when
You feel hunger
And yet you do not eat
Because to cook
Is far
Too much effort
And who are you
To take that food?
Depression
Is when
You feel pain
To a massive scale
But none of it
Truly goes away.
You have good days
And bad days
Joyous moments
And horrific ones.
But depression
Is when
Even your good moments
Are tainted
By the knowledge
That you will soon
Slip back
Into the gaping abyss
Of sadness and despair
That is
Your psyche.
There is no cure,
Not a universal one,
At least.
If your depression
Is caused by
Loneliness
Or heartbreak,
Than perhaps
A partner
Could end it.
If your depression
Is caused
By asinine family members,
Then maybe
If they were just nice
Instead of mean
They
Could end it,
But the problem
With depression
Is that
No one knows
That you have it
Unless you tell them.
And if you do,
They will either
Back away
As if from leprosy
Or some contagious disease
Or they will
Know nothing of it
And abandon you
Or they
Will completely
Over re-act,
And send you to
A therapist
Which sometimes
May help
And other times
May make worse
The depression.
But sometimes
If you tell
The right people
They will simply
Be there for you
And help you through
And whether
They know how
Depression works
Or not
It often
Does not matter
So much as the fact
Of knowing
That someone out there
Truly cares
About what happens
To you.
And that
Is the only
Universal
Relief.
And so thank you
For being there
When you
Can.

Lost in the sea, among the dunes of blue,
A drowning man was writing a haiku.

A poem hard to write and hard to read,
It was about our end, life’s last decree.

And why was he writing? A dying man—
It was his passion, and his only plan.

He swam to no avail, and tried to live,
But life would rarely listen and forgive.

He thought about his childhood, joyful days,
And if he’d live to see the morning haze.

But nightfall had arrived, this world he’d flee;
And truth he spoke at last, for I am he.

In a room full of his art,
He stood as strangers admired.
There was only one subject -
The one woman on his mind.

He'd stopped time to draw her,
Living in that one second for hours or days.
He'd done it so many times
He filled the gallery with paintings of her face.

Iridescent eyes in black and white,
Blonde hair filling the canvas.
He'd seen her from every angle
And what a beautiful sight she was.

Then she was walking through the door,
Moving like air in her red dress.
She exuded the beauty and grace
That his artwork couldn't quite express.

If ever a person came out of a painting,
She was not the one.
No amount of talent and brushwork
Could captivate him like she'd done.

And his eyes did not stray now
As she bridged the space between them.
This meant he had a chance
To try and make things right again.

But he need not have apologized.
She sshed and told him, "It's okay.
This tells me so much more
Than you could ever say."

His paintings of her and only her
Were wherever they landed their eyes,
Save the window where she looked
And said, "It's snowing outside."

"Do you trust me?" he implored.
Curious, she asked, "Why?"
He said, "I need to show you something."
Then he made her close her eyes.

She trusted him - and then froze.
For he'd once again stopped time.
But then he let her into his secret world
And she couldn't believe her eyes.

Everyone they could see was still.
Even the snow floated in midair.
Everything was stopped in that second
And they were the only ones there.

They ran out in the not-falling snow,
Creating outlines with held hands.
He kissed her then, the snow like stars
And they'll decide when that second will end.

Over the many years which have passed, my mind constantly brings me back to one place
Where the strong waves crash against the heavy rocks
So powerful, whitecaps form on the waters surface
Could easily knock a grown man off his feet.
But I am secure on shore, dry and content
Blindly in love
For you are beside me where I've always envisioned you
Hand firmly wrapped, untwined with my fingers
You told me I have no reason to fear.

We sit here for a long time, in silence
Connected by our hands, our bodies lost in an unspoken moment with Mother Nature
The wind confirms it's affair with the trees, deep gusts of air blow through rustling up a wonderful sound
I become cold, involuntarily shiver.
Your arm wraps around me, and I shiver again
Just not because of the wind this time
Drawing me closer, I am with you
The birds, the lake
This is all for us
I never want to leave
Transfixed in a dimension furthest from our own

My eyes grow heavy, and I am afraid if we leave here now that things might change
I'm always weary and afraid of the unknown
You pull me to my feet and kiss me so strongly
Breaking apart you say the first spoken words in hours
"I don't know where you came from, but I am so glad you're mine".
The wind carried those words away from us
High above, under the winds of sea birds.
Across the lake, whispering
Across time.

As I sit here, in my
Cobweb covered rocking chair, miles and miles from that spot
I could've sworn I heard your voice carried with that last gust of wind
As it blew through my hair
"I don't know where you came from, but I am so glad you're mine"
Sleep overcame me,
                             And I dreamed.