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MeanAileen Mar 2017
YOU
YOU hurt me in ways
like no one else before,
cutting me deep-
right down to the core.

YOU beat me up
without lifting a hand,
reminding me exactly
where I stand.

YOU love to **** with me
building my hopes-
making me the ****
of all of your jokes.

YOU shove your money
and life in my face,
finding it funny
that my life's a disgrace.

YOU give me your love
just to rip it away-
an unworthy pawn
in the game you play.

YOU think that I'm ugly
I'm well aware,
to all the others
I just don't compare.

YOU treat me like I'm
a worthless ****,
barely good enough
for you to ****.

YOU boldly look me
straight in the eyes
and feed me so many
******* lies.

But please don't stop,
I love it this way!
Choking on every
cruel word you say....

For I am too spineless
to ever stand tall,
and I'd rather feel pain
then nothing at all.
I'm a sucker for punishment, I guess....
MeanAileen May 2018
This is not a love poem, my dear,
no....this is a poem of defeat.
To let you know you have won this war...
I give up....you have me beat.
I can no longer fight for your heart
while scraping my own from the floor.
I can't ask you to feel something you won't,
and I can't handle hurting much more.
Your will of disdain is so very strong,
it's one I just can not break.
I thought I was worthy, but I was wrong...
was dreaming, but now I'm awake.
I've been running a race I just can't win,
chasing what will never be mine.
And at some point I fell, head over heels...
now I'm just running on borrowed time.
I think I thought there was something more,
a real connection between you and I.
And I guess I thought you felt it too...
I swore I saw that same spark in your eye.
But I'm just a fool and you a joker,
roles we both play well.
So where does our charade go from here?
My guess would be straight to Hell...
Just a poem...
MeanAileen Sep 2019
~~
When that day is upon us
and we've run out of time,
when you tell me goodbye
and steal my sunshine...
After you break my heart
without a second thought,
leaving me in tears-
my stomach in a knot...
After you scar me with words
and call me a mistake,
after you shatter my world
leaving me to forsake...
After you walk out of my life
without ever looking back
on what we could've been
or on everything I lack...
Once you've used me all up,
after your final apogee...
I wonder, my dear,
will you still think of me?
~~~
Will you ever reminisce
on the moments we shared,
remembering me fondly
as one for which you cared?
Or will I haunt your dreams
at night as you rest,
plagued by emotions
you denied and repressed?
Will you be glad that I'm gone
and just let me disappear,
or will you yearn for my touch
and wish I was near?
Will a smile cross your face
when you picture my own,
or will it please you to know
that I'll be hurting alone?
Will you regret that night
when we first met,
or will it go down in history
as one you can't forget?
Will it break your heart too
as it will surely break mine,
when that day is upon us
and we've run out of time?
~~
It breaks my heart knowing there is no forever for us...
MeanAileen Jul 2018
It must be so nice
to be cold as ice
and live with a heart of stone.
No need to think twice
in a fools paradise
when your head is so overblown.

Existing so high
you can touch the sky
from your pillar of ivory and gold.
Everyday you lie
just to pacify
an ego which can't be controlled.

You don't play fair
nor do you care
who's heart you might break next.
Another sordid affair
caught in your snare,
treating women like they are objects.

You made love a joke
with vows you broke,
that golden ring is sure to rust.
One day you'll choke
on fallacies you spoke,
then your empire to fall to dust.

And looking down on all
like you're 12 feet tall
does not make you the bigger man.
Laughing as they fall,
watching them crawl,
forgetting where your own life began.

Just keep living in excess,
desperate to impress,
surround yourself with cool ****.
Cause what you possess
when dead from stress
in a few years, won't matter one bit.
Ya...
Laura Apr 2020
At first glance the pools of your eyes looked so deep
I lived, for a while, in fear of drowning
It wasn’t until I lay bleeding
After summoning the courage to jump
Into those still, clear waters
That I realised how wrong I had been
vonny Apr 2020
the Terror was tall, the opposite of me

she growled out harsh, menacing truths

and spit at me with contempt

"nobody cares or gives any concern

towards your golden sadness trailing down your cheek

towards the frill and layers of emotion pouring from your pen

stop crying

stop writing."

she left me gritting my teeth and clenching my palms

but no tears would come

no words would come

the Terror had taken my weapon of sanity and destroyed it

which shattered me into ****** pieces on the ground
this was about fear that was instilled in me by one of my friends at the time, who was a narcissist.
vonny Apr 2020
soft pieces of purity laid out on a parchment sheet
it smells like raw memory and a warm home
mixed with a spoon to create something sweet
the lovely aroma lets all my memories foam

pouring in the milk laced with my very own blood
these cookies are for someone who is of worth
mixing in the flour, tears at my eyes threatening to flood
but I will endure the pain to put the dough by the hearth

before I put them in the oven, I try a little taste
I feel sick, and my stomach begins to cramp and ache
I ***** all over the floor and look at all the waste
instead of cookies, next time I should make a cake
i wrote this about putting blood, sweat, and tears into a friendship that made me feel awful about everything. however, instead of ditching the unhealthy friendship, i instead opted for different methods of devoting myself completely to them.
vonny Apr 2020
stare at me like you normally do

as i shave clouds and silver linings from my sleep

glare at me, and i'll glare too

as you tear my heart and hopes, as i weep

no use of me crying

so you can keep lying

but when i look into your eyes

we both know your words aren't lies

hours spent, you crying on my shoulder

but when i cry back, you're suddenly colder

i would ask what's wrong

but you tell me already

it's been way too long

since you made me unsteady

i guess there's something to hate

even though i thought it was great

my confidence is destroyed

because you seemed annoyed

you know i am breakable

and you tear that down

tell me i'm not capable

then ask why i frown

what should i do?

i'm not that tough

should i hate you?

or me, because i'm not enough
i wrote this about two people. one was one of my very talented friends who was constantly stuck in the past, making it difficult to rely on her. the other person was one of my closest friends, who was a narcissist.
Thomas W Case Apr 2020
See all those people?
They're real; they feel,
they think, they aren't
mannequins.
I know this may come
as a surprise, but there are
other people in the
world with problems.
And by the way, the fact
that you can't find your
tweezers isn't a catastrophe.
Oh I know you need them to
perfect your eyebrows.
Just in case you forgot,
we are having a pandemic.
Oh, you want me to leave?
I make you uncomfortable.
Never mind it's freezing out,
and that crisis I mentioned, is
at it's peak.
And lets just forget that it's
late at night, and I've nowhere to go.
Just a small reminder, we have a
two year old daughter, and
I have been taking care of
your son for eight years.
Oh, it's your house and it's
not your job to put me up.
I wouldn't live with you if
you paid me.
I had a place and gave it up when
you called me, begging and crying
for my help with the kids, because
it was too much, and you
couldn't multi task.
So now I get why you don't
have mirrors in your house...
Even though you're a narcissist,
it's too painful for you to see those
reptilian, vacant eyes starring
blankly back at you.
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