My First Anniversary…
(August 3, 2024)

This title, this poem, a wholly unexpected,
never thinking this path,  
this particular tango existential
would/was needed,
to be added to
my dance card

an early exit, a poem unplanned,
second chance was not a poem in my long
list of titles awaiting a turn to be written

a year ago,
they sent me to the surgeon,
who had prepared, with no hesitancy declared,
informed that we needed to start
all over again,
my poor heart
was waxing and waning,
and I was currently stuck on
the dark side of the moon,
with no jitney making stops theron

by the way,
the accumulation of damage had attained
a level where heart was
nearly exhausted,
( I believe he mentioned 98%)
that attention must be made,
how about
tomorrow we asked,
he laughed no can do,
but the day after would be ok,
and was I an earlier riser,
a coveted 600am slot available,
my name could be penciled in…

One tear ago, 
 wheeled me in, cracking jokes,
thinking what’s the big deal,
laughing hardest
was me,
for my motto was always leave them
(oops, poor choice of words) laughing…
fear was not in my lexicon, nor in my heart,
nor was
a ferry cross the
Rubicon

so many changes, so many poems 365 days later,
the life marked by many a Cain scar,
the big one, a pencil thin ****  hesty reminder,
plus assorted scars scattershot all over, where the “borrowed” veins and arteries, like pieces of twine, mighty fine,
(no, I never slashed a wrist, though it looks like it)
moved to different places,
repurposed, for I was now a used car
but with an extended warranty…

do not think on it much, but as markers come and go,
you think:

oh! I’ll never forget this trip, event, celebration,
and a week later your mind has nearly deleted it from the
critical events memory synapses, just another
day in the blah blah blasphemy
of a insignificant man’s unremarkable life…

but when I shower, the scars rise to the surface,
all over my body’s map, they come out shouting,
“look what I did for you,” from places weird,
they tingle, insuring my never ending surprise,
at that Olympic trial,
they raced, earning a piece & place
on my gold, overall medley team medaling,
or meddling
(when I tease them…)

so, let us bring this to a close, one man’s life,
ain’t making much a difference to most everybody else,
but the question that needyfor asking,
have you changed, how have you changed?

Less than you think, still write you poems with head and heart,
with humor and wit, sweet revelations, reverent with feeling, somehow a
bit original, leaving you laughing,
or maybe even better, smiling…

my mistakes all shared, and my burdens, some shared,
some too dark to be ever revealed, and I’m guessing I’m pretty
((much😉))
the same as I was before, older, not much wiser,

but these days, I surprise myself, for I sit outside
overlooking the wide waters surrounding,
embrace the sun at its earliest morn appearance,
love me the whipping snap of the
sound of great continuous wind gusts,
all the while surveying the world,
while winds are flowing all over me
like vibrant caresses, excavating my creases,
the ancient and recent
lineage
upon my face,
and sit in utter peace
thinking about everything,
and never tire,
staying for longer than a man has a right to do nothing
but to
reassess,
evaluate,
judge,
convey…
and
always
refresh
and confront
today’s
tally…

My word is good, it's also true,
I promise to you all my life,
For you will be my wife,
Touch me & you'll see,
How I turn to gold soon,
You'll be my intense magic,
Our families will be our glue.

When the time is ripe,
For me & even you,
It will be alright,
Because you will be my wife,
To indulge in romance,
Engage in this dance,
To create new life.

Don't worry dear, I won't stifle you,
You I won't send in a swoon,
I know you can achieve,
The greater glory.
That will be the day,
For us to unite as one body,
Come dancing to me, my dear lady.

Now, don't procrastinate much,
I'm yours and you're mine too,
And both of us are alike each,
Both me & you were let down,
By the ones we took to be ours,
But we don't need such friends,
Oh, such fake faces around us.

I know that me you'll not disappoint,
You I'll never let feel disheartened,
Babe, I will be patient with you,
And I will let my poems now,
Trust me & you'll see the peak,
Not of any other mountain now,
But of the friendly hillock of love.

You must trust me in this skydive,
I'll take care of you when you need,
When it's time, your dough I'll knead,
Feel my deep love as you dared to jump,
You're the most beautiful of them all,
Now feel confident about yourself,
You're cautious and that's good.

Just don't hold back fearing me,
I'll be gentle and kind with you,
And I expect you to be receptive,
Also, you be ready for new love,
Come, let's look after this dove,
Be receptive to my love, don't fear,
Be intimate when I pull you near.