what I miss about you most is the way you kept trying to impress me even though you knew I was head over heels in love with you

what I miss about you most is the way you let my white lies go because you knew it wasn’t worth arguing (no damage done)

what I miss about you most is the way you’d sing to me all night if I asked you to, even if you had a sore throat

what I miss about you most is the way you’d sneak out of the house just to talk to me even though your dad would **** you if he found out

what I miss about you most is the fact that you wanted to introduce me to all the special people in your world as if inviting me into your life to stay

what I miss about you most is how you listened to me night after night and reassured me day after day without a word of complaint

what I miss about you most is the way you’d admire me and look at me with eyes full of acceptance and trust like I was the only star in your sky

**but what I miss the most- truly miss the most- is not needing to write down what I miss about you because you were always there and never in my wildest dreams did I imagine that I’d ever have to narrate the story of us in the past tense rather than present, future or even past continuous and this hollow feeling inside me has driven me to insanity with its bitter longing and sorrowful regret because what I dearly deeply honestly miss the most is everything we were and everything we were to be

what a shame it is
i dont know a ******* thing
about you mama

It's soft white alabaster but
a little dingy from overuse
hinting it's age with a bit of staining
around its curved spout
condensation dribbles from the lid down its azure twisting floral patterns
hissing it's boil with a pitched
Screeeeeeeeeeeee

I got the closure I've been asking for
I cried a while
I'm in the middle of transitioning and I really didn't even have a comfortable spot to cry it
So I sat in the bathtub- cup of tea in hand
and I cried
And then I got up and I went and conversed with my parents and I smiled and I laughed and I loved them
and you can stop me from loving you but you can't stop me from anything else
So moving forward is the easy part
its looking back that gets hard

It won't just be ******* anymore.

It'll be our hearts intertwining and our souls creating a sensual dance.
It won't just be hand holding, it would be a creation of viral sparks flowing with each touch, creating some sort of crave to continuously hold you, the desire to to feel you.

It won't just be me listening to you talk but more of me admiring and thanking God for that sensual voice, it would be more like listening to Beethoven, no better yet to the great classical music that exists creating some sense of warmth and security from your voice.

It will no longer be a smile, It would be the universe stopping, nothing moving allowing me to take in that incredible smile, it will be my heart beating ferociously because you are mine and that smile is only meant for me.

It will always be much more.

chugging
twanging
thumping
snarling -

no drugs needed; the tempo sends me into a tailspin of bliss.

a frightened ear would perceive a dirge but
to the acquainted
it can only be a hymn.

Too many roads I have to cross
And too much pain I have to bear
Too many seas I have to sail
Now there’s one mask I have to wear.

Sing me a song that lifts me up
Paint a picture that speaks up, too
Tell me the word that’s not too sharp
I only want the  best from you.

Give me a flow’r with gentle scent
Save the petals to gain my strength…