I finally opened my eyelids wide
I finally see the world clearly with my own eyes
At last I perceived
That this planet earth
Still have a millions of angels
Traveling around the world

They are all imperfect
But they all have their own talents
Some of them really catches my attention
But they failed to triggers my adrenaline
Dopamine, vasopressin and my oxytocin

Because It Didn't Feel Right

I don't think I can fall in love again
I did everything I can
To get you out of my brain

Because you are my miracle
The chosen angel
Among  the others
That spreaded through all the planet

Baby i thought bout you
Maybe i wrote bout you
Baby i rode witchu
Maybe i fought witchu

Could've been, should've been, would've been but it ain't. Tryna forget boutchu but i can't.

But she prolly don't even think boutchu no more.
She with her other sides, she don't feel for you no more.
She ain't the type to help you grow.
You left me for a ***.

But i ain't cryin no more.
Lovin you ain't my habit no more.

But karma is a b**h.
You left me for her
she left you for him.

You made your choice.
I made mine.
It's over
And time to move on.

i write
because i am upset
and since when has writing become a form
of exploitation of the human condition
?!

this will all be over soon
he said
over? can that be replaced by fixed?
i don't want it to be over
i want my expectations to become real

i don't want you to go
that steady decline you've been in
you made me hope for too many things
we talked about
starting a business
suceeding in business
starting a charity
building communities
we planned out
my wedding
my family
your new house with a swimming pool
you said you'd give me away
watch whether i decide
to be a stay at home parent
or pursue a career
you're still convincing me
to take on a responsibility im not yet ready for
i need you...i still
want to need you
to be my support
at some point i'm not so certain
of my intentions

before
i met you
i was taught
to value
money
to build
a reputation
to keep
up appearances
above all else

with you
all i had disappeared

before
i met you
i learned
to do
what was convenient
to be
invisible to myself
to have
less than what was due

does it stop there?

maybe you taught me
the better part of me
maybe you showed me
the other side of things
but there is so much more
to hope for now

the just will have a cause
worth fighting for

things are at an end
all these will be done
it shall be finished soon enough

I will never find you unbeautiful,
over all time and between all distance.

go on your way
My beloved child
turn aside from
the swerving path
untangle your gaze
to center on Me
stand in courage
hugging wisdom
guard all thoughts
leaning upon My love
release what's behind
and walk on in joy

This night has suddenly became quieter
What's happening -I thought I was getting better?

Am I that messed up in my head?
Thinking about things you did -instead of what you said

I guess it's true
Nothing good happens at night after 2

One moment, I feel so empowered, happy
The next, I find my heart too shabby

It's as if I've shut a girl deep inside
Screaming so loud.. God, I'm tired

When I tell you it hurts —it does
On a physical level, it creates the fuss

After you, it was hard to let somebody in
I had to move on –but it seemed like a sin

unresolved feelings—
is this what it is?
the reason why
i still cling onto you?

i thought i was over this
but now
the possibility
of you and i getting back together
still runs through my mind

am i crazy to think that?
or is this all just caused
by my unresolved feelings
that needs to be answered?

My pure orbs laid upon a cold-hearted knave,
Isaac, oh, Isaac;
That the cherubs atop, my scarlet ticker; they laved,
I had fallen quite hard like the cruel ocean waves,
For Isaac, my Isaac;
Though he never glimpsed upon me,
Why, Isaac? Oh, Isaac;
My pure orbs, they have turned into a bitter sea;
Done by Isaac, oh, Isaac;
That knave thieved the joy from me, you see—
God! Isaac, why Isaac?
I wish I never had opened my once pure eyes for Isaac;
Behold of what Isaac had done to me;
My Isaac, oh Isaac;
He had purloined my love and my glee from me;
Oh, Isaac, my Isaac.

Sorry if I was too blind
Cause I'm hiding from behind
Knowing that you loved me all along
I was scared if you were joking but I was wrong

Now that I already realized that I love you
It was to late
I already lost you
I will find my way to you before it's to late

Afterall , I guess,
It wasn't all that bad.
Maybe nothing is all that bad.
I danced at the cliff with you for a long time ,
The fall felt like end of life - quite painful but everybody saw that coming.
And there were days for sure , when the dances appeared like a havoc , heated with chaos all over it.
But we danced through.
They told me to move on and forget him. Is that what moving on means ?
Maybe nothing is all that bad.
I hope our brains came up with recycle bins.
Escapism isn't a word , if it is I don't see where it exists.
I carry pieces of people with me as I share the same breath with them .
And to move on from him took me long enough , but I remember the firsts and the lasts and will always do.
Because he took a part of me too ,
A part that is safe with him.
We shared our bodies together ,
We drew each other on the canvases of love ,
I dived into you , you were there like a safeguard, full of air.
And the laughs and cries are always real , no one can be that fake.
So maybe when you share the same  corridor as mine and would pass besides me I won't pause to gather the mutual atoms amidst us anymore .
I would recognize the smell as something familiar , and will walk away.
Maybe it's time to let go