And after the storm the wind scatters
You take stock of how much of yourself you’ve lost  
Checking for new scars and bones rattled
Reeling from the shell shock
Picking up the now rearranged thesis of who you are
Dusting off your soul and it’s unrecognizable in the light
So you sit there in silence
Fathoming every reason you’re still alive
You dive a little deeper
Delving secrets from the mind
You can’t describe what you’re seeking
But it feels like paradise
An infinite calm but only out of the corner of your sight
Contact is imminent
But perhaps this isn’t the time
If not now then when?
It’s the same question presented to you at the eye
After you’ve splayed into everything you will see in ice and shadows
But as you are it stands for something out of reach
And then wind picks up again
As every storm is not without meaning

As I sit here and reflect,
Reflect back on the changes.
The changes life brought from my stubbornness,
which left me crumbled and attainted.

From waking up in the morning,
& crawling to the washroom.
Only to set myself up for a day,
a day I wished I could step through.

The agony of humanness,
relentlessly pierced my brain.
The pain set a foundation of misery,
which snuck out & made me plain.

The rust around my bones,
framed my lack of lust.
The lust to live vibrantly;
could it be cured? I'd grow to trust.

A time of immobility, I wished I could relay.
Relay the message to the One,
Only to curse His plan, yet obey.

Obey the principles of gratefulness,
is what I was told.
Told to let go of what I can't control;
Yet these words seemed entirely dull.

The unwillingness to carry on,
from an internal cascade.
Unable to unleash my anger & frustration,
& failing to convey.

Convey my state of mind,
to the people I love most.
Before they thought I'd overcome anything,
but this me was a ghost.

A ghost of who I am,
departed from uniqueness within me.
Bearing my helpless mood out on caring hearts,
even those dearest to the.

The, as in I,
or the other way around.
Separation from oneself was desired;
but I realized the gates of self shall forever surround.

What was brought forth was an opportunity,
& a revitalization would occur.
Problems did arise from my setback,
But in this moment, I pulled out each burr.

Happiness from the thought of what will be,
while having to endure what was.
In this moment my eyes opened wide,
like the strength of a strong wind gust.

Patience is a virtue,
at least this is what I'm told.
To hold onto anger is useless,
& the point is to unfold.

Unfold the despair,
& find faith in the cycle.
The events of life are ever-changing,
& like earth's marks, are insightful.

Movement is progression;
it can be painful, yet pure.
Erosion happens with time,
& we were placed here to endure.

Endure life with patience,
where faith will persevere.
Life is not a movie,
where problems can't be severe.

We must accept change as part,
part of our little world.
What surrounds us is vital;
alike the three letter word.

A word stemming from trust,
the word stemming from faith.
The three letter word is His,
and this, we must not mistake.

How can it be
that you can have everything
and still want more?
Am I greedy when I ask
"is there anything else?"

How can it be
that the ties of friendship
can be undone?
Are they not elastic?
Aren't they impervious
to the ever-shifting sands of time
that weather meeker men
down to disassociated
piles of dust?

How can it be
that you can plant roots
that spread and intertwine themselves,
seemingly immune to any upward motion,
just to pluck them from the ground
that nurtured them for years
and place them somewhere
unlike anything they've ever known?

How can it be
that the world can hold so many secrets
and yet our instincts tell us
to discover the truth?
No secret was ever discovered
by trusting a single source;
like the threads of a dream-catcher,
we entangle ourselves in multiple realms
to capture what we seek.

I don't know which face means more:
the smiling ones
that coax me into song, and folly,
and memories as precious as time,
or the one blemished with melancholy
as it stares back at me
knowing there's so much more.

How can it be
that we have an imagination
as wide as the universe,
and yet we never dare
to find the borders?

You're pulling at my Earth
With your bicycle tire mind
My ground is vibrating
While you drag my beach towel like a magic carpet
Spin my thoughts like a washing machine
The way your mother used to throw your body in the swimming pool
Only you wept with glee, unlike me

Cradle upon the spooned arms,
And the sunken fetus lay at ease.

As the night sky yield a breeze,
And the illumination of dawn woken by the alarms.

Serendipitous actions peak with charms,
And all things calm to a breathless sieze.

The presence brought myself to a knelted knees,
For the shimmering fire showed no harm.

We can only glisten by the laughter it gimmer that all things are going to be okay!

जोँ गोसोथोनो सोलोँजेन्दोँमोन
रावना रावनिनि सल'बाथानिफ्राय
थावनिया जोमै गेजेराव
खुरखाहां मारुंनि सेराव
.
मानोना मिथिगौ जोँ
हारिनि बाथ्राखौ
बर' हारिनि
बेखायनो जोँ सिरि सिरि-
रावनोबो दाखिन्था सना
.
हारिनि खोथाखौ मा बुंबावनो?
गासैबो फैमाल
नाजाग्राया नाजागासिनो थेवबो
जेथो सिफाय सिफाय
.
अफ्रि लखब्बाय
दाबखा दुमसु बुख्रुब्बाय
थेवबो-
गुरुदेबा जौखौ फोजोबनो हायाखिसै!
.
हायेननि सुफिनजोँ
दै बाज्रुमदोँमोन
थेग्दाव बेग्दाव
खाम जथानि देँखोजोँ
.
निलुआबो बुंलांदोँमोन-
"हनै सानजाहा सोरां बोगौ"
थगायनाय बादिसो जाबाय
.
चरणआबो बुंदोँ-
"अनारु थु सिगां"
उन जाखो ना सिगां जाखो
बुंनो हालिया जोँ
.
बिग्रायारि जानानै
बर'फाया बिग्रायलांबाय
"आं बिग्रायारि" होन्नानै
नारा नाथा जुजिलांबाय
.
दिमाफुर बायनायनि दुखुआव
पद्मस्रि ब्रह्मआबो
बेसेबा गाबलांबाय
सोनाबनि बारखौ आसि थुनानैबो
.
गुणेस्वर मोसाहारि खोनानाय
"हा फिसा हौवा दाउ"आ
दाबो गाबदोँ
दाबो खोनादोँ जोँ बयबो
.
मा बुंबावनो सना?
बिक्रमा नुलांबाय
"वार्ड नाम्बार फाइभ"
सिमांबो दंमोन निलकमलहा-
.
इन्दी इम्फौनि
मुलुग मुंदांखा इन्दाष्ट्री बानायनो
बहा जाबावनोसै?
बर'नि राजखान्थियानो सार्कासनि खसाबब्ला?
.
दिनै राजखान्थिखौ माबोरै दैदेनदोँ
नायहरदोँ जानांगौ
रुपनाथ ब्रह्मआ
बर'नि राजखान्थिगिरिफोरखौ
.
जानो हागौ बेखायनो-
इसान मोनाबिलिमोनहा
दैसा सेराव लोगो हमलायदोँ गले गले-
.
नोँ जेरै-
नोँ आरो आंजोँ
मागो बैसागु
.
नाथाय थेवबो-
जुजिग्राया जुजिगासिनो दं
होख्रावग्राया होख्रावगासिनो दं
नाथ्रोदग्राया नाथ्रोदगासिनोबो दं
.
बिबानखौ गथायलांबाय
मेंनो रोङै मावथि जोहोलावमोनहा
प्रजि ब्रह्ममोनहा
रायजोनि थान्दै गोबां मुंख्लं जाबाय
खायसे मासिखौनो गारबायबो
.
अब्लाबो-
नेनानै दं ब्रजेन ब्रह्म सारआ
"अख्रां गंसे नांगौ" होन्नानै
जेराव गुसेब सिमानि हाबिलास गैया

my shy, hesitant frame was first taken to obligatory ballet lessons when it was only 5 years old
the pale pink clinging leotards and scuffed leather slippers decorated with neat string bows would always outweigh the strain of my mothers scraping nails against my scalp in order to achieve the perfect ballerina bun seconds before each and every lesson in the vastly daunting and vacant room
where our innocent and wide-eyed little selves were our sole company in the face of the towering glass pane staring straight back at us
the sheen of the never-ending polished pole stretched right across the middle
and we strained to try and make ourselves grow taller than each other
to look like real dancers practising their pliés for hours upon hours
and I made my small body bear the unbearable
the strung out aching the myriad of assorted stretches lit in my weak limbs as I tried to train my fingers to kiss my tippy toes
like a desperate attempt at mimicking the distance between fingertips in The Creation of Adam
always almost within reach
but never meeting
soon enough the pink and the pretty and the pleasing image this form of dance appeared to me to be was no longer enough
and the sparkles and sequins and garish glitter costumes began to fade along with reflecting rainbow coloured stage lights and 4 years worth of overpriced Academy Lessons and Exams

I guess I gave up on touching my toes

The gloo, gullet, bottle
Of the bubbling sea
With its waves and the wind spreading out.
The sea - its sparse immensity,
Which rounds the headland heading home,
And hungry - my body,
Which slips into its liquid cool,
With a twisting, turning, arc 'n curve,
As i go under,
Where the white-fibred shadows
Of the cerebral dance of sunlight
Flit the sandy floor,
Where i scrape the barrel of the ocean's bones,
The grit and gravel,
Then the bursting lungs
Falling out on the evening air,
In love,
With the silent walker's seashore path,
The trailing dog, and the city lights.