He walks upon the water, he spends a long time watching from his wooden tower, afraid he would drown in water. Such time went to waste for his assuming.
Doomed to his anchored environment, held back by his inner dialogues.
In such fulfillment of his own truth he had lost to understand the importance of perspective.
Yet on some day he walked, a careful but determent wander across the water towards his deepest desires. His old truth finally neglected.

I remember that night
The glow of lights softened the edges

The way you held my hand
I told you I didn't dance

Sneaking kisses because we knew
We couldn't
We shouldn't
We didn't need to fall back into the old
When this exact moment was meant to move forward

The sound of your voice trinkled over the music
I think those were my favourite notes that night

I could hear your words in my ear
Tantalizing and teasing
Your hands weaving electricity into my skin
Making me swear up and down;
if this ever ended..
For once i had given it my all.
Even if we ceased to exist to each other

Lesson//

Do NOT
waste your time on
unresponsiveness.
Chasing familiar silence
is like drowning in oxygen.
Move on.
and with growth you will learn
of rather they were there to
Love you or
Use you.
At your worst -
you will quickly learn
who sits at the table;
do not be afraid to excuse them.


loss is an attribute of growth & possibly one of the hardest lessons.

These feelings,
I know them,
I’ve felt them before.
I was reeling,
In feelings,
I felt from a *****.
But now I’ve moved on,
That’s all in the past.
She’s out of my life, she’s gone,
I knew that **** wouldn’t last.

Then why, I ask,
Do I feel this way?
Towards the girl I love,
The girl that loves me.
I sit and I think,
About the feelings and thoughts,
That seem to come about,
When it seems I’ve forgot,
That she really cares,
Like nobody before,
Much more than Heather,
That stupid-*** *****.

Let’s think a second here,
She smokes and drinks beer,
Along with these habits,
Comes unending fear,
That she likes other addiction,
More than our love,
More than our friction,
Cause when push comes to shove,
I’ll let her shove me,
Right down the stairs,
Before I create some part of her,
That will need repairs,
Years and years from now,
If she ever left,
If she ever up and,
Stole my heart out my chest,
And ran and ran,
Blood spewing and spraying,
Like love was a game,
That is just meant for playing.

And she talks to this guy,
A past sugar daddy,
He thinks that he’s sly,
With Britney and Maddie,
And Courtney and Tia,
In all corners of the world,
He’s got girls that will be a,
Nice ***** for him,
And he likes my baby,
And she says she misses him,
So maybe... just maybe,
If she goes to Canada,
And decides to meet him,
They’ll get in a situation,
Where she decides to treat him...

I know this will never happen,
But there will always be the fear,
That one of us will **** up,
So I worry the end is near.
Soon I’ll gain trust,
This won’t last forever,
But, until then,
Trust issues I’ll sever,
I’ll cut them all off,
One by one,
Because feeling this feeling,
Is anything but fun.

with the rain comes realization
and with realization comes change
the clouds beckon the lamentation
the lightning beckons the thunder
the tornado extirpates the innocent
but especially the blind
to their actions
their effects
their afflictions
even with the sun
eyes remain closed
ears deaf
spirit unwilling
to move
you’re comfortable
on your tower of contenting
But I am the foundation
The brick
the steel
the glue
and I am about to move

I am not here, I am not there
You will not find me… Not anywhere

I have not run away, I have not disappeared
I am close. I am closer then I appear

Not sure how to type what I feel
When all of these feelings just make me feel so lost and ill

This is not a rebellion. This isn’t out of frustration
You are not the enemy; I have nothing against your radiation.

In the night I have gone like the wind
But I am alive and well, this is not out of sin.

I am not gone, just hidden away for a while
You know all my locations, all my places, you know my style.

I could be anywhere, but you know where I go
I am not gone; I’m just no longer home… I’m solo

My number code now a mystery, but you know my accounts
You know and have more then what you realize. You have the amount.
You know my people, you know my spots
Although I am physically cold, my heart is burning hot

Forgive me for the pretty little lies, and for my acts and stories
My wrong, my bad, I am sorry. I greatest my apologies.

I am not fooling around with strangers, or with the fools of this earth
I am safe, and I am close by. I am not shutting you out, I’m building my own turf

Watch the black now fade away, the spikes dim and become dull
For I am independently going on this journey on my own, it’s quite the hull

I’m sick of disappointing, I’m sick of the back and forth, I want to truly know
Jesus in the desert for days, Moses on the Mountain, and Elijah with the birds sought Him alone.

Days, and weeks of isolation, alone with Him.
I want to know!!! I Need to seek and find!!! I am so sick of guess’n!!!

As far as I can tell, this is God’s leading, and if it isn’t, He can work it all out
I won’t know until I take the first step into this unfamiliar world. I promise I am safe and sound

Trying to be discerning, and wise with every step I take, as far as I can tell
I can’t hear him when many are shouting. When too many feel the need to yell.

Not abandoning the problem. I’m not abandoning His Call
I am looking for peace and answers. I want to be his Princess. He won’t let me fall.

I don’t hate you, there is no anger or disappointment in this heart
I swear I leave in peace and love, for I am hurting with this part

Dad, I know everything you said and did was only out of love
I know you didn’t mean to hurt and scar me, so I hid my scars with gloves
I know I disappoint, but I contain no anger. I need a moment and time
To ask and then receive, and to seek what I am trying to find
Answers

Mom, you are wonderful and beloved, I’m sorry if I made you feel so worried
I promise you; I am fine and safe and treasured and in good care. Please have no fury
I loved working alongside you and doing what I could to help
You did so much for me, and prayed like a warrior, breaking every spell
Blessing, that is what you are ♥

Rachel, it’s time for me to be trained on how to be a woman of service
I am on my knees like I’ve seen you done so many times. I’m encouraged
I’m sorry… But He has shown me his leading… So, I am just walking forward
I may not know where it takes me… But I swear it is HIM I am walking towards
Boldly

Dennae, I am praying for you and the things you struggle and ache with. I know the look
I’m going to miss your *******-up phrases and your unintentional jokes
But I need to go on a journey with my Savior for a while to know Thy way
He will change your heart, and your desires, you keep seeking His face.
Everything will change when you pray

Amy, I am sorry, but I tried to do what I could to be there for you
I tried to be the big sister I needed to be. I did what I could so you could see Him through
I love you little one. He has an amazing job planned for you ahead.
He has not forgotten nor abandoned you. Because for you, he bled.
Remember His Love

You can come, and see, and visit! You know where you can stop by
I am not dead; I can assure you, that I am very much alive.

Take care of my baby fluff, and the fish down below
Trying to follow His leading, and not drench myself so low…

Time to grow up, time to discover and learn.
He is the greatest teacher; He will protect me from the fires that burn

Gone indeed… But to really seek and discover what is in store
Alone and Solo, I depend on Him to really speak and show. My body on the floor

Don’t be worried, scared, or frightened, for I am in good hands
I love you; I miss you. You are not locked away from my stands

From the darkness, I escape, but only to seek the light
Forgive me, my beloved family… but I need to take this step… I’ll be alright

I may have crossed the line
But I know as long as I seek Him… and Surrender to Him, He’ll make everything fine…

Till I can see you again, Beloved Family