I was a mouse and I lived on
The moon, I ate grey cheese it
Was always grey never anything
New.

But then someone parked, left
Scorch marks on my favourite
Grey patch of cheese, so I
Sneaked aboard and watched
Them claim my cheese in the
Name of man, in the name of
History

What was man? did he taste
Good? but I smelt him and
Could tell he smelt not so
Good, We landed it took a
While, I sneaked off to find
New cheeses that I could see
From my cheese moon seat
So far away down.

I tasted here ,I tasted there,
But I preferred what I had left
Behind, that place  in the sky.
I had left to come to this place,
That tasted like moon ant hair.

I waited a while for the ride
That took me from there, but
It was doing a round  trip, so
I'd have sneak off and catch a
lift home from there.

So whoosh I went up through
The clouds, and through the
Blue, to the darkness out there.
I chewed and nibbled, then some
More. It got them in a little
Trouble, they solved this then
Were on there way.

I floated around waiting for a
Ride, then some tasty space rock
Was heading my way, I caught
It as it did fly on by. Then to
Home I was off with a jolt, I got
Near the surface my time to get off.

I landed after floating for a while,
Where the space rock had landed,
Juicy grey rocks had flown around
All mine to taste once more. I was
In heaven, I hope those humans
Never come back, as this moon of
Grey cheese is my  favourite place.
And there's not much tasty cheese
On that multi-coloured rock.

Carefully I speak, then silenced in trance of fear,
That you will not be mad if I let out an idea
Nobody here ever seems to want to hear?
Your older and have the money, so but of course,

You fix our food,
Clean the house,
Make the beds,
**** the mouse.

When I want to let my "evil ideas" out,
And tell you what worries me, I must be lost.
So is your world all anyone cares about?
When your "chosen" mess up, I pay the cost?

You do the dishes,
Clean the stove,
Feed the Baby,
Carry the load.

So who ever needed me anyway?
All I do is take up verbal space.
The "world" now "knows that I'm nuts,"
The "wolf" must be me in any case...

The giraffe and the mouse lived in a big tall house.
The mouse asked giraffe "do I make you laugh?"
In response to the mouse, the giraffe said "no"
"How can I laugh when you're close to my toe?"
"Close to your toe?" Said the mouse "but why?
Giraffe looked down and began to cry.
"It's a long story mouse" giraffe cried in despair.
"I'm all ears" said mouse and he pulled up a chair.
"To cut a long story short I've got an in growing nail"
"Oh" said mouse with a flick of his tail.
"Leave it to me I'll be back in a minute"
He brought back a kit with some first aid in it.
"Lift up your foot" and mouse set to work.
Giraffe raised his leg trying not to ****.
Mouse fixed the nail in no time at all
Giraffe was impressed by mouse so small!
"How did you do it?" Asked  giraffe in disbelief
Mouse just wiped his brow with a handkerchief.
"While I'm down here giraffe is there anything I've missed?"
"After all...
                   I'm the one and only....

Qualified rodent chiropodist!"

Dear Cat,
It's mouse.
Do you remember the time you chased me?
You chased me with passion, and then you stopped.
You stood in the doorway, when I could've been caught.
Never chasing me, never strayed.
I gave in, and surrendered.
Still, you stayed far away.
Calling out to me in chants,
like you done no wrong.
What's this game you're playing?
What do you want?
I'm scared to leave this feeling behind.
Because all I want to do now is cry.

T'was the night before Christmas
And with everything done
The kids were all dreaming
Of Christmas Day fun
The tree was completed
We had wrapped all the toys
When from the basement below
We heard a faint noise
I sprung from the couch
Took off down the stairs
On my way through the kitchen
I tripped on two chairs
I slid down the staircase
To the base of my house
And there with my shortbreads
Was a ****** great mouse
My wife followed close
And then she let out a shriek
She saw me and the mouse
And she started to freak
He nibbled the cookie
and he ran past my nose
right down my torso
Then he stopped at my toes
My wife was still screaming
The mouse didn't care
He continued his running
On under the stairs
I crawled to my workshop
Grabbed the first thing I found
A mallet for pounding
That mouse in the ground
I limped to the staircase
And I swung at the wall
I again lost my balance
And again, I did fall
I put two holes in the riser
Two more in the tread
I was gonna keep swinging
Till that mouse was dead
I broke the one lightbulb
That lit up the room
Now I was worried
I couldn't see...found the broom
I stepped on one end
Squared my self in the sack
I then heard a noise
The mouse had come back
I heard his slight skitter
As he went past my feet
He was off to the larder
For more stuff to eat
I went back to the workshop
Tripping at least three more times
I would finish this mouse
He would pay for his crimes
I grabbed for a lighter
And my large propane torch
I would hunt down this mouse
And his **** I would scorch
I lit up the propane
And I aimed at the stairs
It caught light on the carpet
And I burnt both those chairs
The flames went on upward
The stairs were quite dry
I laughed in hysterics
That **** mouse would fry
My wife had recovered
And decided to run
but, after seeing the flames
She phoned up 9 1 1
The mouse left the building
In fact, he never was found
The house burned in seconds
It collapsed to the ground
And through the whole scene
I just stood there and laughed
At the wreckage before me
And I thought, **** I'm daft
I had ruined our Christmas
And I burned down our house
Over a **** shortbread cookie
And one little mouse
The kids, they got out
And were wrapped up and warm
While I was creating
My own perfect storm
The gifts were all ruined
The house ...all consumed
And over my head
One large question loomed
If I had gone for the shotgun
And shot at the mouse
Would I be still having Christmas
And would I still have a house
My wife came on over
And she gave me a swat
She said "look what you've done"
"you great stupid ****"
I learned a great lesson
and folks ...it is that
Once I rebuild
I will then buy a cat!!!