Cold Sunshine

The sun occupies my days,
From dawn to dusk,
Looking for bright days,

The sun shines bright,
But my days are always dark,

Lonely days,
Hearing your voice carried on the wind,
Telling me, not to give up,

Thinking still of you,
Remembering your hugs,
As my cold days slip away,

Remembering when you left,
My sunshine and happiness went away,
The day the sunshine became cold.

Copyright © 2018 Ronald J Chapman All Rights Reserved.

you are the devil

you make me feel like I'm sinning
even only with a pen and a paper
I'm grinning
because I love it
and I learned on the backseat of the bus
that you can only give so much for love
and the news came to me clearer
that she's not the one for you

people seem to come and go
and your love may want to grow
but sometimes the roots untangle and you are no longer together
but that may be for the better
because he wasn't good enough for you anyway

You know, when I met you
You took my breath away
In retrospect
I would stop breathing if it meant dying next to you
because there are demons in the pit of my stomach
they're so loud
they follow me around
it's the shadow I live with now
but you are the sun
who makes my heart palpitate just a little faster
you make me love smiling
you make me miss your touch
you make me miss your words
you make me miss your scent
yes your scent
because I'd rather have a part of you with me
and have it seem strange than be normal and have nothing at all
and, well,
you call this a part of me, it's not
just the start of falling off the wrong side of the sky
who held me me up for stars and way too long
but after all, all i wanna do is play you songs and just sleep tight

I was a fool in pain.

Selfish,
childish,
wrapped up in my feelings,
and oblivious to yours.

Desperately wanting to extinguish
the fire in my heart,
which I knew would never burn for two...
Heartbreak changed me.

I wanted my pain to end
and yours to begin.
Threw all emotions and history aside,
and willfully,
disregarded your emotions
to deliver the bitter end.

I was a fool in pain.

I see you now,
your accomplishments,
the people in your life
and the love which fills it...
While I
desperately search for someone to set a spark
in my hearth where your fire once burned.
Countless attempts,
countless heartbreaks.

Punishment for the ugly end I wrote in our story.

You were right.
It did not have to end the way it did.

Though the juvenile pain has now subsided,
I forever bear your scorch marks on my chest.
Though we are no longer in each other's stories,
I forever carry you in this tear-jerking memory.

I miss you,
I think of you still.

I was a fool.

i don’t ask much,
except, just to know that you made it home safe.
i may not always act like it but,
i do care.
maybe, if i’m honest, not all the time.
every now and then,
especially when you’re in front of me but,
i do care.
i can’t believe that it’s been a few years,
since i’ve felt the inside of your palm.