I'm confused I mean not really but
I am like I mean i love this girl
But my heart doesn’t know what it wants
Like this is our 7th time together
And it’s because of me I don’t know what i want
Like I want him I really do but the him I want
Is gone not gone gone but he’s not besides me
He’s not making me laugh
Were not laughing late at night
Were not playing roblox like we use to
I miss him so much but I can’t be with him
Why? Cause were so toxic but I mean does it matter
I know were toxic but we fight and fight but in the end
We always say I love you
I miss him but I’m with a her
To get over him I don’t thinks that’s okay
I mean its not It’s really not
Im hurting her and myself cause
I keep lying and saying “I love you” but do i mean it?
I don’t know
But what I do know is that I want him but he’s gone
So I’m stuck with her while I shouldn’t say it like that
But I am

I may seem stoic in this new situation
and for a while I was fine
then it hit me like a truck
my heart was the only casualty
tears threatened to spill
but I kept them at bay
I'm an adult
but I'll always miss my parents
I just want to hug them goodnight
but 2 and a half hours of driving separate us
I may seem stoic in this new situation
but on the inside my heart aches for them
stoicism is just a mask for the internal havoc of emotions

I was

Keeled over
Screaming
In the garage.

I laid in there

I wished that
There was some way
You could feel
My pain,
My sorrow.

I remember thinking that

Every second
That goes by
Is another reminder
Of what I lost.

I had to

Be quiet
Because they were
Sleeping
In the other room.

I could feel my

Heart breaking
As I studied
Your face
Like I would never
See it again.

Because I knew,

Yes I knew,

That I wouldn't.

I miss you so fucken much its not even funny anymore!!! :(
As soon as your back
and I get to see you
prepare yourself
because imma run up to you
and almost bowl you over with my hug
okay?
okay
:D :) <3
x