Waking
Dragging
Wanting
Hoping.

So much more to life.

Seeing the trouble
Not knowing what to do…

Waiting
Dragging
Hoping
Wanting.

Remember I am
Remember all I see is I am
Remember whatever comes at me is also I am
Remember I am that is all there is
Remember I am the life
Remember I am
Always

I went outside to smoke a cigarette
And I looked at the trees
And I looked to the trees
For guidance

And the trees said
Be still.
Do not wander
And be present with your pain,
Do not seek another place but here.
Let it come over you and depart as
The clouds come and go in the sky
Or as the rain washes over the landscape
Or as time passes through all.

All living things find the way back home in time;
There is nowhere else to be.

The musky candle,
solely lighting
the black room,
casts a shadow of the bedside fern—
a delicate silhouette
swaying on the wall.

Follow me now-
As we exhale,
deepening til there's no air,

As we inhale,
let our eyes focus
on the buzzing space that lives
in between objects and bodies.

Bring your attention
to the pleasure of stillness,
the lingering taste of wine
on your tongue.

Feel the pull
of our quiet obsessions,
the gravity of our thoughts.

I keep a tight grip around
everything that hurts.
I keep asking my therapist
"how do we let go?"
and what does that really mean?
she says, so gently:
“if the pain was deep enough, you will have to let go many times”
I never realized I had that power
to do that
to inhale and exhale