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Lou Morgan May 2016
My demons don't like
the food that I eat.
They taunt me, sending me
running to the bathroom in defeat.

You are not worthy, they say
as I bow at their request.
That food was no good.
now the toilet bowl is my only rest.

My heart breaks, slowly
and pained tears begin to fall.
I have nothing left to give, I say,
I've already given you my all.

I stand and try without success
to wipe my steady tears away.
Looking in the mirror at my swollen eyes
I remind myself tomorrow is a new day.
always anxious Apr 2016
10W
i was sad, so one day i just stopped eating
Rochelle R Apr 2016
Silence

Digging
The search for words
Leaves me empty and blister-handed
Despair and thought swirl in a voiceless dance
Between my ears and
Any will I've had to speak
Disappears where my breath meets my lips
Guttural instinct has me know
There are things that need to be said
Words to be exchanged
Explanations waiting
Perched
Perilously on the edge
Of solving all
And no going back
And yet

Silence. And everything is dead.
Rochelle R Mar 2016
A speck
It festers

Silently
Growing

Leeching
Unnoticeably

Raspy voiced  
Less than whispered

Barely noticed
A pesky itch

Ignore
A twitch

Ignore
It won't exist

Ignore
Fade away

Please
The edge is turning grey

The plague is back
Black

And here to stay

In truth
It never really went away
She
She wanted to be pretty, she wanted to be accepted.
Nobody loved her not even herself.
So she decided to lose weight, she just wanted to be pretty
"10 pounds," she said.
She started exercising a few times a week and eating less.
Then every few days turned into everyday and less became nothing.
The voice in her head got louder. *"How many secrets can you keep?"

No one talked to her except the voice inside her head.
10 pounds became 15
15 became 20
20 became 25
and 25 became 30
She stood in front of the mirror, naked, smiling
hipbones jutting out of her body, spine showing.
She put her hand around her wrists and touched her pinky to her thumb.
She was so happy standing there smiling her bones showing an extreme amount.
She finally felt happiness, she was finally pretty.
She failed to notice anything happening around her, distancing herself from everyone because that's what Ana said to do.
She always listened to Ana.
Ana told her no one would love her if she was fat.
Ana said she needed to lose more weight, that she was still fat.
So that's what she did, but sometimes she would lose control and eat and eat and eat.
She had to throw it up she couldn't keep that inside and let it sit. She had to get rid of it.
So she did she threw up until she couldnt throw up anymore.
She hit a new low, 80 pounds.
And that was it that was the end. Her mom found her lying on the bathroom floor. Unconscious and she panicked. How could she have not noticed?
Now her baby was gone, dead, she couldn't bring her back.
Ana took control of her life and stole it. Stole her soul, her personality, her identity, her life
She mind was dark and her body was thin, all she ever wanted was to be pretty. But what she thought was beauty cost her, her life.
Caitlin Fox Dec 2015
Sugar, salt -
Decadent crystals are the mistresses to the tongue,
Seducing the mouth,
all the while trapped in the slave house of the body.
They take forms of warm and soft, frozen and slick
and in their sanguinity, they partner to become fuel,
insulating, warming the body.
Creating perspiration, spawning inevitable regret.
Drawing the body, the looking glass calls,
singing its poisonous Siren song
Luring it to the whirlpool that is the surely awaiting distended figure
There stands a sickening creature,
one the tides would not accept as bait
unless it can return to the sickly prey it was moments before.
And so this prey must slink away,
Bow down before its Goddess, its Queen
who declares it a “Disgusting fool”,
commands it to “rid yourself of this delicacy you live in,
this fantasy world
And relinquish your happiness.”
Because in order to be perfect,
bliss is not deserved,
not handed out,
not accepted.
Allyson Walsh Dec 2015
I knew she planned on staying.
When she unpacked her belongings.
Mia told me she wasn't playing.
This time, she would cause the falling.

She woke me up the first night,
After he ran away.
Mia's chapped lips whispered our old times,
She reminded me of tooth decay.

For the next few days, Mia was my shadow.
Her doe-eyes trailed my every course.
Waiting patiently for me to plateau,
Before attacking without remorse.

Mia told me she was mending my cuts,
My battered heart, and my sliced legs.
She was making me whole with every hiccup.
He may have left, but she was here to stay.

We held hands throughout the store.
She helped me buy my favorite treats.
Binging together before locking the door.
Purging never tasted so sweet.

Mia held my hair and my pink tongue.
Her fingernails made my throat bleed.
Convinced me secrecy made this fun.
Our kneeling prayers were a mystery.

She wiped my tears with her acidic hands,
And whispered how much she missed me.
Mia uttered how only she would understand
My longing and misery.
I don't want this to be for me, but it is.

If you come back, she might leave.
Aesthete Flower Dec 2015
Behind the mirror is a girl
Who looks a bit like me?
But I’m a bit more real
And darker inside, see?
She smiles, you would never guess
That inside she cries
And screams and screams in silence
As she lies and lies
Her skin is scared like mine
With deep rivets in her side
The freshest one day old
The hardest one to hide
But no one seems to see
Or hear her as she cries
As each day she withers,
And ever slowly dies…
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