Breakdowns. Spinning. Kicking. Screaming. Bashing. Loving. Hating. Nothing. Everything. Frowns. Zombies. Keys. Lies and truths. Cobwebs. Social conditioning. Lack of purpose. Lack of insight. Fulfill the prophecies or continue the failing cycle of doom.

Here's the grand illusion...

I was the evasive shadow

But we have only just begun.

Tell me, isn't that strange?

Every day feeds this moral decay
In the strange game of life.
Now we can feel the winter.

Solitude's upon my skin
Waiting for the rain you're bringing.

Communication's broken, phantoms are far away.
Now the leaves are turning red
In a time of hope and desperation.

So I wither
Out the dark into the fire below.

Beautiful to me
Despite what others say
We were meant to be
Together we are free

Oh, how she longs for me
I for her
Our love has the power
To move heaven and earth

If only they could see
How much she means to me
Rather than giving love
They treat her with resent

Whatever comes
I will defend
No matter what they try
My love will stand

They can't stop us
Let them try
For heavy metal
I will die

The fuzz in the air
The tempo stomping
It's so heavy
It's so slow
It surrounds me
It drips onto me

The sound encases me
Piling on thick
Not letting go
Not letting up
I crave more of this
I need more of this

Of course I'm okay.
Fine actually,
I love metal music

What ****** me off
is the notion that because the musics loud
and the lyrics are different
something must be wrong

Metal music is a family.
its riff laden roots are dug deep into the roots of my family tree
when I crossed that muddy bank I brought all of me I could.
Except,
I forgot my family.

I couldn't bring them through the mud.
I couldn't bring them desert mountain air

So when I miss them just a little too much,
You can bet I'm gonna put on
Slayer or Megadeth
to drown out the pain of an empty house

That heavy emotion
resonates deep in my chest and it fills my lungs
drowning out the words I cannot say.

Words like I love you,
Words like I wish you were here
Words like I miss you.

Sometimes I wonder
What my life would be like
If I had never met you.

Not in a spiteful way,
Just out of curiosity.
Would a new name replace
The space
You've reserved between my lips? Or would I still be out there,
Counting time
Between the ticks of my metal detector?

Do you remember the metal detector?

You know,
I always was a treasure hunter.

I don't think I ever told you this but,
Before we met,
I modified it a bit.
I was tired of lugging it around,
So I put it in my heart.
This way,
I had nothing weighing me down.
I used that ****** thing for years.

After a while, though,
I got tired of metal.
I only ever found scraps, anyway.
So I modified it a bit more.  
Honestly,
I barely made it out of that one intact,
But it was worth it.
This time, I was looking for love.

I don't want to run this tangent
Into the ground,
But I guess what I really want to know is

Would my heart ever beat that fast again?

Saying your name leaves a metallic taste in my mouth and I wonder if it's from biting my tongue to shut myself up or from biting my lip, thinking of you at 1:48 in the morning.