I can see all the messes
In my life
The ones I made long ago
And the ones
Other people made
Of my life
Of my innocence
Of my trust
And I want to scream
With the injustice
Or perhaps exact revenge
But those chances are long past
Covered over by years of secrets
Lies, and therapy
I really have moved beyond
The pain
But every now and then
The trigger will come
My skin will crawl
And I’ll despise you
All over again

I have shadows where my eyes once were,
for years I have spent clawing at them
scratching the blood from my corneas
and draining the tear drops from my duct
slowly depleting myself from sight
because I am tired of looking at the mirror
and despising the broken emptiness.

Thus, I see no evil because everything is dark.

World is a mess .
Don't disturb the way of its noise.

somehow
I was a mystery
   To you

But I was a broken piece
   A tired soul
     feeling unease

I closed doors
  windows
built fences around my home

all I wanted was control
  Of the car
   My life was driving

and wasn't it nice
      every other sunsets
   a shadow beneath the surface
we collided

a disruption
    my routine gone
anticipation
   and back to drama

It was uncontrollable
  the fifth gear
    I am scared

The wind flying my hair
    car radio, top volume
it was going too fast

   It was beyond
me, my white fences disappeared
and my living room couch is occupied
        Why cannot I stop this mess

Soon it will be too late
   A repeat of fate
       Or maybe this is not a mistake?

I must confess, that the world is a mess
but it's not to gone to save
it will take time, but with that in mind
how did it get so ”grave”
the people concerned, are the people who learned
what's wrong and will help make it right
it will be rather stark, as the mess is quite dark
but together, we can turn it to bright.....

Brian Hill - 2020 # 214

In my darkest dreams,
You lie there.
Awaiting me in dark hues of purples transforming into mist.

You smile, half-lipped in such a devilish way.
It leaves me in thrill.

You growl,
A low animalistic cry that you’ve kept prisoner for so long.

You howl.
As if I am your lunar eclipse,
And you have to have me before dawn.

In my deepest dreams,
You wait there.
Lying in dark hues of reds transforming into mist.

You reach for me;
Arms outstretched in a silent desperate plea.
I always comply.

We push and pull,
We Grapple into a tangled mess of filth and shame.

The air hangs heavy in a dark dream like this.

I awake,
Sweat on my brow,
And my mouth in a shape that can only say your name.