When he was my age,
my father was already a dad.
At twenty-five I still drink as much *****
He told me: “you are making your mother sad”

My colleagues all have lovers
I am married to an imaginary dog
That cute bartender was flirting with me
So I could start a relationship with beer

I don’t know what annoys more my roommates
My clumsiness or my messiness
I blamed my fictional pet
That animal should try to stay sober

My friends stop talking to me
Once they started dating
I should try to figure out my problems
But not today, it’s Friday

i love you with all of my heart and soul
it kills to watch you drift away from me
only to come back for a moment
just to leave me alone once again

why did you get to be okay?
why did i have to be the one to fall apart?
why doesn't my heart listen when i try to cut it out?

i want to scream at you
i want you to notice that i'm dying without you
i want you to love me again

i want you again

Too much effort,
I’m giving in my all.
I’m helping me out,
To get up from the fall.
Such a disgrace,
I can’t stand even tall.
Walking away, a task,
I can’t even crawl.
You look at me,
Rolling your eyeball.
I feel like a mess,
Need alcohol.
Being happy, a norm
But **** protocol!
I can’t fake a smile,
I’m not a doll.
Any well wishers?
The number’s sure small.
Will they stand by me?
Help me build my wall?

i’ve seen the masterpiece
but never the mess in you

you still mean the world to me
you’re just not worth the fight anymore

I'm in denial
That anyone loves me
It's not paranoia

I know the truth
It echoes in my head
As tears fall onto my bed

Nobody cares
I'm just a tool to use
For them to get ahead

Noones ever loved me
Noones ever gone beyond for me
I can't fight my insecurites

Because they're right
I am unloved
A cursed child

a mistake at birth
A burden growing up
Last resort as an adult

I'm never a first choice
Barely Last choice
So I'll lower my voice

Let myself be used
It's what tools are for
Not like I'll ever be beautiful

Why did you like me
Why did you sleep with me
Just desperate for any company

Found someone new
No surprise
Already used to the lies

No boy will love me
Nor any friend
But they'll sure pretend

Can't blame them
I don't even love me
filled with self pity

Years on repeat
Everyone leaves me
Always shamelessly

Not one soul
Would walk one extra step
To help me as I wept

Nor does anyone
Find me worth
Anything but a empty purse

I am unloved
Yet i exist
Why did god make me

So ******* helpless

You always are there for me
You care
And you love me

But i'm always a disaster
A mess
And a monster

And I don't know if I can let myself lead you on any longer