Do I need that?
the passionate feeling of hot skin close to mine?
the teasing words and thoughts, the way your eyes watch all of my movements?
how your finger is always kindly stripping the soft parts of my body?
the intimate Feeling of me and u?
Do I need ur heart to fill in the missing parts of mine?
To feel whole again?
But you keep being one of many
gosh I'm so sorry
I don't want u to be this, don't want us to be this.....
I don't want this
I'm so sorry but I think I'm going to break you, or you gon break me first

Tired, so tired
Counting forlorn tires
Tired, so tired
Of what?
Life and loving
So take me
Forsake me
On the beak of my spine
There is no greater quarrel
Than this love of mine
I'm not happy
I'm not sad
Just glad to be walking
On plastic bags
Glad I'm still breathing
But struggling anyway

Erase this day, erase this day

I got a new desk today,
I thought "HEY!
if I get a new desk
I'll be able to fix this mess!"
I put together the desk,
it wasn't hard,
I didn't sweat.
I put it in my room
and I got upset
because despite the desk
being beautiful and tall
wooden and long
perfect for that corner in my room,
it was not big enough for the clutter
and the mess
and the stress
and all the books and the stuff
that I need around me.
So now I have a desk and my things
and we all float together in my solitude.

a girl
growing up.

overthinking
every step
of the way.

I wish I was not beneath you
Wish I was what you desired
I guess of my bad habits
You are becoming tired
I wish I still felt pretty
Like I once did long ago
I wish you would do what’s best for you
We both know that means letting me go
I wish I deserved your love
Wish I was better than I am
I wish I cared about my well-being
But I cannot seem to give a ****
I wish it did not hurt so bad
Seeing that look upon your face
You look down on me as if
I am nothing but a disgrace
It must be really nice to be
As great and smart as you
Do you remember though
I used to be like that too?
Over the years I’ve changed
Because of the drugs
Felt so much pain
I’m not who I was
I do not know how I’ve become
The monster you now see
You could never hate anything
As fiercely as I hate me
I wish I didn’t disgust you
Though you have every right
I understand the reason you scowl
When I am a ****** disturbing sight
I apologize for every hurtful word I say
And repelling thing I do
I wish that who I am
Was enough for you