My biggest mistake was letting myself feel again
Letting the air touch my skin
Letting the birdsong reach my ears
Letting his hands stroke my hair
The sensation rushing through my body

Though the highs may be so high
My lows are much too low
The numb was constant
Predictable

Here I am now
With emotions like wild stallions
Running rabid through the fields in my heart
The fields are lush, but the horses are heavy
They trample all in their path, leaving confusion and uncertainty

I would rather feel nothing than feel my lows

I know the world is going through a lot right now
I know that sometimes we feel like giving up
It feels like you carry the weight of the world on one shoulder
The world is sure in a mess right now
But you’re not alone, nobody has to be
We’re all in this together,
For the weight we should’ve carried is love
And every one is a fighter
I believe
So rise up
Together

***** laundry
under aching feet
at 2am
with seven
eight
twelve
unread messages
breaking the silence

empty stomach
but clean teeth
and so many empty pages
in notebooks
scattered in between
used tea bags
and dry rose petals

i add my socks to the mess
and close my eyes
trying to remember
what breathing feels like