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madrid Jan 2017
It's her putting letters into words
So he becomes a part of literature
It's the way she spontaneously smiles when she remembers his dress shoes
It's her sitting on the rooftop holding nothing but a half-spent cigarette
Wishing it was his hand instead
It's the exhausted smell on her comforter
Until the day he sprays more cologne on it
Or body spray, either way
It's being comfortable enough to not wear a bra (at times)
It's her way of looking at the shirt he gave
It's spicy food
And the cup of Nissin seafood

It's his giggling whenever she acts like a child
It's the pendant on his neck
It's the "wo ai ni"
It's the intensity of his stare
It's resisting the urge to **** her
It's the bonnet
It's his first kiss in the rain
It's his fear of oblivion
It's his whispers of "God, I love you so much"

It's closing her eyes when she hears "Walang Iba"
It's the "keka ku, kaku ka"
It's the dark closet in her room
And the inflatable bed of their friend
It's fighting over the simplest things that seem like mountains
Like the Great Wall of China
Or the Battle at Gettysburg
It's her shouting "I hate you!"
Only to hear "I love you too!" in return
It's the duets they got used to.
It's being with each other for 72 hours straight
It's him
saying he's not good enough for her
And her
thinking he deserves someone better.

It's the lapse between seconds
It's him breaking her walls without breaking anything else
It's her making him believe in waking up to the same face for the rest of his life
It's the music
It's the silence
It's knowing that she desires him for herself
Even with all the stars between them.
It's seeing,
That although the road is rough,
She is his medicine
Just as he is hers.
It's the entire universe conspiring to bring them together
It's the petty misunderstandings
Or the major ones.

It's the stargazers.
And the shotguns.
It's loving too much
Or loving just right.
It's you.
Payton Elizabeth Dec 2016
It consumes you
It wraps around you like a python until you cannot breathe a second longer
It absorbs your happiness like a sponge
It waits for you to fill yourself with pills, and watches you suffer after
It get excited by the way you cry and throw up because of its doing
It waits in the dark like something paranormal
It comes and it goes like an ex lover
It disguises itself as productivity, but eventually takes off the mask
avery Dec 2016
You are the thing that you want to be

Slow motion heart attacks being thrown into an ocean
Nonsensical lyrics describing nonsensical emotions

But I love it

HOLD UP
I'm sorry but did you just feel this moment?
Feels like heaven on earth
Like a dog giving birth
A woman discovering her worth
Or maybe I'm just messing
Ditropan has been ******* with my head
Tearing up my heart

Take another shot of Desmopressin
Counteract it with your depression
Sycophantic helplessness
I wanna engulf myself in eternal recklessness
I wanna drown myself, oh no

Girl, go eat your Oxybutynin
Then go find yourself a beautiful Cuban
Marry him before it's too late
Because he might not ask you for a second date
That's the just the way it goes,
Close your eyes and watch it go!

Why does every symbol you give meaning to correspond with death?
I'm never sure what to hear
Everytime I climb the ladder I feel a part of me is getting sadder
Perhaps I'm just afraid
Afraid of being asleep when I no longer believe in my dreams
I keep reaching, reaching but I'm too cynical
Time has a cyclical nature
one second I'm fine and then I'm not and then it circles back until I forget which feeling I started with

Oh well, that's just the way it goes
Sometimes you choke on Cipro
Sometimes you choke on Cipro
These charcoal dark shadows hang beneath eyes of carbon blue.
Carrying the memories of sinister scenes, washed clean, but stained with the salt of regret.
Shame.
Mortification.
The sorrows of living within the frame of some unseen stranger's lack of obligation- irreverent and unattending to the consequences of unrestrained pleasure.
In the background, the slick black vapor slides back into illusion's nest, unfound. Within this restless cradle, ever-raging, silent battles fought.
That daily dose which nearly burned and boiled and blotted them out.
Never triumphant.
A pawn in a profiteer's pyramid scheme.
A beast in bloom, bound to eternal flowering.
Poverty empowering the privileged hand. Our death, stretched far and wide still tortures and taunts and tears us from peace- day after day, week after week, and year after year.
Trapped in a cage whose bars are not there. Whose locks have no key.
We scream and cry til out voices break and our tonsils bleed, but no one on the other side can hear.
We play our part for family and friends but deep down inside we know how this ends. We pretend to go on, but we know we are dead.
We are victims of big pharma and our ribbon is red.
Lunar Nov 2016
a lady of colorful blood
prepped in white uniform
she'll put your heart back together
whenever you feel down or torn

she deeply loves a boy
as if he's from her books
way past his words and actions,
way past his looks

ointments of her embrace
and her medicinal laughter
she dreams and doesn't know it
but she's already a doctor

sometimes her puns are die-worthy
yet sometimes they give life
she cures with her compassion
and bandages the strife

people give her their sadness
in return, is happiness, she gave
all will be unnumbered--
those lives which she saved

i liken her to the sun
i liken her to the stars
i liken her to the brightness
outshining the scars of dark hearts

she's no plain jane
she's no ordinary girl
i brought her into my life
and she brought healing to my world
this one is for jane, one of my closest, and literally the closest because we're in the same university. i love you so much jane richelle. especially on my birthday this year; without you i would've been a little down but you picked me right back up! i love you. thank you for being my friend and my healing!
my dire Sverige
with blood in her hair
still chosen in knees

that kiss my spirit
with rarity upon brow

watch-listen-inspire
an influx hasten and
only wrought me pier

mirror, hour, tablet
her quest is in change
see every moment dawn
by a monument in land

she belligerent retire here
with her radiant shine alight
a lawn overcome in ****.
Legalization and recall
Lunar Oct 2016
how to heal a broken heart,
when you, yourself, are falling apart?
and this is a risk i must take
when missing you is a heartache.

to be cured of being love and homesick,
when you will return to me in the end.
i'd say you, the medicine, are perfect;
you miraculously make me better in an instant.
love me, heal me

1/13 of the Pocketry Series.
Thinking Doc Sep 2016
I can't remember the last time I laughed without coughing,
I can't remember the last time I sang, without going silent,
As if I remembered something that broke my heart,
I can't remember the last time I watched the world go by,
Without thinking that my time was up.

I can't remember the taste of joy, the mirth that has left my lips,
Is forgotten, gone in a puff of mist,
I can't remember the last time I walked with ease,
I've forgotten what it is like to feel something more than buzzing in my mind,
I don't know if it is the injuries from a lifetime that hurt me,
Or the wounds of the days I chose to not live.
After a long time.
Aaron LaLux Aug 2016
Lago Da Preta

With water from aquifers,
deep within the rock of The Holy Cross,
where these holy waters first see the Light of Day,
is where we converge and I submerge my gold chain,

between darkness and light,
where Lago De Preta is filled,
I quench my thirst for redemption,
with hands cupped in prayer,

I carry the water from the ceramic spout,
to the waiting lips of my mouth,
I drink these holy waters,
to replenish that which the vampires have drained,

they took more than I offered them,
but I suppose so goes the burden of every saint,
we give and we give and we give,
so that hopefully through our blessings they can be saved,

and all this giving is tiring,
so I’ve come to this sanctuary of Lago Da Preta,
to drink these holy waters from this holy mountain,
to which I was gratefully and thankfully divinely led,

so hopefully I too can be saved,
by these cleansing waters,
at this circular stone aqua alter,
covered in soft green moss and prayers,

I’ve taken my shoes off,
as we all should at any temple,
I’ve confessed my sins here,
in hopes of redemption,

I give thanks for,
this moment of peace in this Garden of Pena,
at this sanctuary in this forest,
here before us is the Lago Da Preta,

I give thanks,
because moments of refuge care priceless,
in a world that’s gone mad,
I hope I can redeem us with words so I write this,

and I send these poetic letters,
from here because I don’t think I’m coming back,

I’m at,

Lago a Preta,

a place made in honor of a mysterious black saint,
created with sea shells and volcanic rock and dedicated faith,

the saint,
is mysterious because her origins are unknown,
so we can only speculate,
and I’d speculate that she was probably a saint of the Moors,

and it was probably a beautiful statue that stood here,
and it was probably destroyed by white Conquistadors,
the same mind frame vein that made Jesus white,
and made Morocco a place settled by the Moors,

the statue was likely removed,
for the same reason the Great Sphinx lost it’s nose,
for the same reason so many statues are defaced,
and it’s an atrocity but I suppose that’s just the way it goes,

because history seems to be written,
by those that do the most sinning,
and it’s tragically ironic,
that those that sin the most do the most winning,

and lately in history most of the winners have been white,

but still I pray in front of an alter erected to a black saint,
because I believe that God doesn’t see people by color,
I believe God sees people by intentions and actions,
and I am proud and excited but at this very moment I am humbled,

I am grateful,
I dip my gold chain and my mala beads in this infinite elixir,
water so ******,
it could **** those energy ******* vampires,

sometimes just restin’ is the best medicine,

sometimes it helps to just remove your shoes and pray,

sometimes it’s best to get away from all the clamor,

sometimes you can find a place of peace like I have today,

I pray,

between darkness and light,
where Lago De Preta is filled,
I quench my thirst for redemption,
with hands cupped in prayer,

and I write,

with hands still wet from holy waters,
from deep within the rock of The Holy Cross,
I write in hopes these words will be found,
so that all of humanity will cease to be hopelessly lost…

∆ Aaron LA Lux ∆
complexify Jul 2016
truth is indeed like a bitter medicine to swallow.

not saying this because truth cures.
not also saying this because it's bitter.

what i want to really say here is truth is a part of your life.
you gotta swallow it
forcefully and willingly.

without *pain
, there will be no medicine.
and
without lies, there will be no truth.

right?
somehow still finding the truth behind these words that crossed my mind randomly.
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