Will I be able to look into a pair of dark eyes
without imagining how nice it would feel
if those were yours?
Will I be able to laugh my heart out
without having the urge to tell you
the stupid joke I just heard?
Will I be able to be completely happy
*without you at all?

My words
They are meaning less
I can make you believe I care
Just to leave you in despair
I cant help but laugh when you make that face
Is that heartbreak speckled in your eyes?
On darling I just love that sight

But then
My words are hollow
When I tell you its fine
I don't care
I don't mind
I'm not hurt
I wont cry
No no it is fine, I didnt believe you for a second
I wasnt hopeful
I know just how cold this is

As you gracefully continue your life,
I'll be waiting.
Hoping.
Deteriorating.
We didn't share much, but it was real,
Was it?
Or was it all a game? A lie?
Maybe I'll taste love too soon
Too much...
I get drunk on that thought, I crave that feeling.
To live.
To breathe.
To be something.
Anything!
But as I stare into your meaningless, distant eyes, a void fills me up.
It crawls to my heart, to my soul.
And it whispers untill I cannot stand it anymore.
The thought of not being with you...

My friend, you, who always was there
with, the knife, doped in my blood
wishpering, your loud spells, flowing words
silencing, your lies, for my eyes
shivering, as I lay in the ground
the bed, my friend, you made

I thank you, my friend, for we are friends
I'll gift you, my friend, my flowers
for you, my friend, will see the beauty
in every bit, of hideous piece, that may breath our air

Thank you, my friend
for only you
my friend
will understand
the meaning

Keep a carbon copy of all of my deepest secrets,
I've come to understand that my feelings are meaningless.
Empty porch swings and lost engagement rings,
behind closed doors people can be anything
She broke your heart and she broke my smile
Tooth decay and sad denial.

Your noose is in my closet next to my Sunday's best
This house and my chest are just one huge mess.
I don't know what they made of it,
what they thought or what they think
But at least now they're all happy due to the separation of everything.

If the clouds collapsed to the ground and turned into nothing but dust,
would the love that you make in them be anything more than lust

Cross my fingers.
Close my eyes.
Clean off my wrists.
I don't remember how to cry.

my resolve called a code and the nurse and
i need your help to stop the wailing--
give me a home and i can nurse you with
the blood under my skin. you see
i am **** and jello and your face is
such a sight for blind eyes and
please go buy flowers for me--
while they're still fresh in their graves/
when you go i'll molt my feathers and
choke on the honey you left me--
and with my red stained gloves
i'll cut your umbilical cord.
he'll be mine and i will be yours.

Words silly things
Letters with meaning
Still meaningless

I will never be **** again,
At least never seen,
You know it's kind of funny,
That's my personal dream.

LUCKY ME

But I'm all alone, society kills,
All I do is wait and watch,
The grassy green, the blackened hills,
The warzone and it's total loss.

But I'll just "shower in my clothes,"
Or move out when I have no support,
I'll be a misery and no one knows,
Cares about why I'm so forlorn.

Time passes, set my nudist free,
So I'll no longer have to live
In this banged up pos society.

Words lost all their meaning today it seems
they became a shadows of the yesterday's dreams
it seems that all whats left is abundantly clear
never greet another day and confess all my sins

I know you have your hand in this you beast
today you add another scratch into your wrist
I hear your smile while my conscious disappears
You know I never wanted, never wanted this.