help

The ticking of the clock leaves me on edge
Another second wasted, trapped inside these bare walls
I am getting better, am I?

I no longer desire the rush in my veins
I desire, no, I crave fresh oxygen to the brain
I can't breathe, I can't breathe
These walls are closing in
This is the price I pay for the ultimate sin

I've fallen ill from my own sickness
My candle is burning at both ends
I never thought I would have to bring myself to this place again
But here I am now
And here you are not
I asked to to remember me, and you almost forgot

The strands of smoke that pour from her lips
Blend with an atmosphere dimly lit;
The sight of the scene would make a man bewitched,
For it were as if her beauty were some sort of trick.

Her aura of importance, vanity, and fashion
Are comparable to an openly adored fascism.

She regards the rules as much as possible
To make herself look as good as a model.

Spending hours at a time to look her best,
She relieves the stress with cigarettes.
There's hope that they will make her forget
All of the mistakes and all of the regrets.

Though most of her relationships were abusive
None of them yet have brought her story to conclusion
Now she's hiding all of her problems as if they're delusions
Behind smoke and mirrors--the perfect illusion.

If only I knew the price I'd pay
Living the same cycle day by day
The blood in my veins would soon run cold
The spark in my heart would abandon my soul
The comfort of my skin would wear away
The color of my city would turn to gray
The blood in my head would drain from my nose
Spending dime after dime left me out in the cold
If only I knew that I just had to try
Doses became higher
And so did I
Till I finally screamed, threw myself on the floor
I punched
I kicked
Couldn't take it anymore
Dose after dose
I couldn't see from my eyes
I laid on my back and looked up at the sky
If only I knew it was all part of the ride
Just a bunch of ****** up kids
With bloodshot eyes
Chasing our drinks instead of the sun
Only God knows the battle I've won.

Some people,
have a beautiful way with words.

"Songs are like words, I know of a lot of them but that doesn't mean I know what they all mean".

Karl Franssen

‘I love you’, is not an adage
Say it only when your heart says, “Yes”*





© Amitav (Radiance)

"Oh my"
It's getting really late
I must move fast to meet my mom
Or a fight we will create

I scurry down the sidewalk
To see my friends at the park
Jane, Will, Anne, Sam
And a blue eyed boy named Mark

"Hello" I say out loud
They wave and greet me back
"We missed you"
I join them and drop my backpack

I sit down and talk for hours
I forget about the time
"Where the heck was I going?"
These friends are none of mine

I get up from the swings
I'm confused.. question-mark
I feel like I've done this before
I search for a hidden spark

My mom is standing at the doorway
She is mad I can tell
"We're you talking with Anne."
That name, it rings a bell

"I think so mother, but I don't know,
I think I did.. I guess"
She shakes her head and brings me inside
"Go and get some rest."

I lay down on my mattress
And pull the sheets above my head
I lay there like a zombie
So tired, almost dead

In my dreams I see some things
But not normal like on t.v
Everything is strange
It looks so make believe

Then I realize it's not a dream
This is my real life
My dreams are completely normal
But my life just isn't right

I see things that aren't there
I hear people that can't be seen
Everyone thinks I'm crazy
I know just what they mean

It's hard not to think that
When you can't explain someone else's mind
If they looked inside of mine
"Normal" they would not find

I'm the crazy girl who's stared at
Sitting alone all in the dark
With Jane, Will, Anne, Sam
And a blue eyed boy named Mark

They always look twice
I can hear their rude remarks
As they try to find who I'm talking to
-The little children at the park-