I’m always forgotten because I’m never known.
They see me and my concept,
what they believe it is,
but they do not take the time to know me,
my insides and fillings,
my laughs and tears,
my thoughts and words.
I’m always forgotten because they never care enough to notice my light,
or my lack of one.
Superficial gifts and smiles
all at once in one Christmas night.
I’m always forgotten in their brains,
like tasks that no one wants to do,
a person no one wants to know.

Closer to new years now.
I’m always forgotten over the summer.
I exist,
lax and blurry,
because they don’t remember me if they don’t see me.
Every person creates a different image,
except no one actually knows me.
They just see.
They watch.
They imagine.
And they create.
Me,
in their brains.
But its not me anymore,
because a me doesn’t exist in anyone’s mind.
Not even mine.

Sometimes you
Decide to
Have a really big meal
Then proceed
To not eat
For the next eight
Hours right?
It's not that you can't wait
But the faintest smell
Of food might
As well
Knock you out.
It isn't about
Being physically
Full, correct me
If I'm wrong
But going too long
Without anything
Would bring
About the strongest's doom.
(No, food here
Is not the elephant in the room.)

Do
You
Really
Love me?
It’s probably
A me
Problem
But why
Can’t I
See it? Why
Don’t I
Feel cared for
When I text you anymore?
Maybe you
Used to;
Maybe you did
But what got rid
Of those feelings?
Because every time
I’m
Dealing
With you and your
Issues I pour
My heart and soul into
Helping you
But I’ve just
Never been checked on
Without me breaking first.
Always been looked upon
As support for you to lean
Against but that just means
I’ve always carried your weight;
Forever stuck in a stalemate;
Not yet dead
But nowhere to run instead.
Can you tell
How much I love you
And how much I wish you
Loved me too?

It's 3:43am and I'm wondering if the spider in the corner of my bathroom is dreaming
I wonder if she knows about the sun and if she ever dreams of weaving a web in the moonlight
I wonder if she knows what I'm saying when I tell her "don't worry, i'll keep you safe" and I wonder if she believes me

Sorrow stifles me
Like a song that doesn’t resonate in my heart.

Like a dream that remains unfulfilled,
Like the sun that does not warm me.

It's beyond you, in the sky no matter how hard you try,
like transient love that visits you and then waves goodbye,
I grasped its tail, grappled and refused to let it go,
it was there for me, procrastinated and gave me a tow.

The magic rubbed off, lifted me up, placed me in a golden bowl,
at that moment all is clear when you can see inside your soul,
things not noticed before as tho' someone opened a velvet door,
what do you wish to see, air and light, who could wish for more.

You can not disbelieve when you fail to perceive or want to leave,
'oh what a wicked web we weave when we practise to deceive;'
the air was misty blue, light like a feather, wondered whether
I deserved to be cloaked when supernatural spirits came together.

They armed me with perception but you have no recollection,
how powerful, doubts removed, returning to Earth was my decision.

I wanna tell you something
From now, I’m not me anymore
This is my last time
To not ever have to speak to you again
To not ever say anything about us again
To not ever tell you any tales that I have

To not ever read your messages
To not ever pick up your call
To not ever have a beautiful dinner
To not ever take a picture of us again

I have not got to be bound to you again
It is up to you
And it’s up to me
If you want to stop following me, go up
If you want to block me, just do it
I feel really sure to let you get out of my life

There’ll be no more cry in our happiness
There’ll be no more smile in our sadness
And I just know that
Lana was right “Happiness is a butterfly”

But, if you think that I’m a brittle person
I’ll not blame you
Judge me!
I don’t want to give a sh*t to you
So please, judge me again and again as much as you want

I’m a melodramatic fool
I’m a broken-hearted
I’m untrustworthy
I’m fussy

I don’t need a psychologist
I don’t need a sharing friends
I’ve fallen to the darkest side of the hell
Darkest side of the world’s heaven
And i know that I don’t belong in the world’s heaven

Thank you for loving me
Thank you for being there
Thank you for cheering me up
Thank you for hearing me
Thank you for inspiring me
And thank you for everything you’ve done for me

Farewell every part of you