A delirium
of truth
was there
to such
word in
us that
tired most
in coming
months so
any guidance
there with
selection then
started bleeding
without cause
or May
Day heard
thunderous applause!

April

Showers,

Bring,

May

Flowers.

My flowers,
Her flowers,

Gather a bouquet,
Of pretty little dead things,

May was the month,
I started living,

A birthday sure,
Would it be a day I regret?
I used to wonder,
Was it all in my head?

April showers,

Bring,

May,
Flowers,
This much is true,
But am I as much a flower to me,
As I am to you?

Counting my petals,
Love me,
Love me not,
I know I'm at an odd number this year,
As I watch my petals disappear....

Painful showers,

Can turn to,


Flowers.

The day that we spoke
is the day that my heart went afloat
Weeks and months has passed
My feelings just continued to blast

March was the month,
The month I smile
Then May came along,
That my story turn into a sad song

Years have passed
You've found yourself another lass
And yet I'm here,
My eyes just continue to tear.

it was uncomfortably
hot out today

i put my cardboard box
down on the pavement
and squinted into
the midspring sun

grateful for the
knowledge
of the truth
the ukulele truth
and nothing but
the truth

like i could
scream every
johnny cash song
i've never learned
at every pathetic smoker
disobeying the signs

and i understood
oh but did i
understand
why they're always
pushing friday
on midweek radio shows

it's thursday
at 3pm
and guess what?
now we're free

(to roll in the grass
and soak up the sunshine
or maybe just
take a nap)

tell your winter
clothes where they
can stuff it
and your hick
christmas lights
to get lost

there's a pitcher
of unsweetened
ice tea with just a
dash of lemon juice
waiting for me when
i get home

and a cracked
front step to
nod off on once
it gets cooler

and even these
june bugs
out in may can't
bring me down.

May 1st, 2016
8:44 pm
I officially have 15 days with you.

****.

I cannot do this
I cannot do this
I will miss you
I will miss you so badly.

You are all that matters to me
Nothing has mattered this much to me.
Ever.

Not music
Not writing
Not saving myself

Speaking of saving myself, I didn’t do that
You did

Remember?
You saved me
I looked at myself in the mirror and hated what I saw
I hated the lump in my throat
I hated my flat chest
I hated the way my stomach bumps out a little

But then you turned me around and said
“You’re beautiful.”

And you meant it.

You meant it when you said it that night in the garden.
You meant it when you whispered it in my ear.
You meant it.
You ******* meant it.
You meant it like no one had ever meant anything before.

You’re all that matters to me
You are my universe
You are my earth
And my sun
You are my alpha
And my omega
My life starts and ends with you.

So I may have 15 days left with you
But **** it
I will be ****** if I don't make the best of it.

Because I love you.

I loved you that night at the bookstore.
I loved you when we went to pride together.
You know, I wanted that to be a date.
I spent that whole day wishing that it was a date.

I have loved you for so long
It feels like forever.

So **** this 15 days thing
I will love you till I die,
And I’ll even love you from hell.

And that man swung like
the tire we rode into the
golden sunset of my youth
a stranger to beauty

I can still hear them
Calling out an empty name
Once you're gone do
you keep your truth

In quiet moments of
Crystal reflection
I often wonder if
I could be him

A soul so lost
Forgone the waiting
Choose my last and
Step away into nothing

But I remember
Those empty smiling eyes
That shrill wailing proves
Nothing beautiful may stay