Swinging rhythmically; bloated and unsteady,
He nudges at the doorway of his desire,
And descends into darkness,
Carrying his heavy load of lust.

Beyond the bottleneck,
From where warmth and light beckon,
He hears the trill of girlish laughter,
The sound of sanctuary at play.

Pausing briefly; head cocked to one side,
He sighs with resignation,
Deposits his craving clumsily,
And withdraws deflated and defeated.

Once again.

I'm free
happily bathed in masculinity
makeup feels okay now
dresses are fine somehow
it's like it makes up for
the girliness
with a little splash of free
and happy masculinity

long hair was suffocating
now I feel myself breathing
pink feels less toxic
lipstick's less obnoxious

now I'm living freely
with just a little butch masculinity

Why dosent she get it,
Why can't she see,
all of who I'm trying to be,

I don't want to be like my past,
Or the ones who came before me,
Who chose not to see all that was standing in front of the,

I try so hard to hold it all together,
I know what we have could last forever,
I don't want it to just be,
Another failed you and me,

I ****** up and did somethings I'm ashamed to say,
I had you living in an illusion that wasn't real,
Because deep down I didn't want to face how I feel,

But I see clearly now whats for me,
Your love runs deep like the roots of an old willow tree,
This is the dream I had when I was a young boy,
What did I do to deserve somebody that does not treat me like a toy,

You are the lighthouse in my sea,
Your smile is the beauty in my day,
Your laughter is the sound of my peace,
Your essence gives me permission to just be,

I truly am sorry baby,
Please find it in your heart to forgive me .

There's a contentious subsection
Of the homosexual community
That go in a different direction
Hoping to find social immunity
The word masculine
Is the mask they're in
To live life saccharine
Wearing a plastic grin
From the sensation
Of over-compensation
Actuating placation
To differentiate
From the effeminate
They say they're separate
But really they're just desperate
To be accepted
By their own dejectors
To not be rejected
They become defectors

To avoid ridicule
They stack their deck with nothing but physicality
Their mind minuscule
The albatross on their neck is a lack of personality
To please those that compare them to *******
Internalizing their homophobia
An infernal mighty cornucopia
Creating an over abundance of rules
One must follow to be a proper male
But we should jump out of the pool
If being miserable is what that entails

The more genuine version we see
The happier we all should be
Then we might all be free
But if I were to show glee
Someone might call me a ******
And I don't think I could hack it
When the rest of society backs it
With an approval that is tacit
So I convince myself I'm avoiding identity politics
Using total discretion
To make no impression
But my friends and family would know that's not what I'm doing
So why not tell them?
I haw and I hem
Because the underlying ghostly shame
Is the true nature of this social game
When you have the fame of the flame
You're told to get in a lane of the same

Erase my ******* sin
With the title masculine
There are practical reasons to hide it
But how much time will be bided?
Will my life be derided
Until the evil are delighted?

character development is truly amazing
every point of view, is constantly changing
and i have this habit; immensely annoying
of falling in love, with love

suddenly, i notice what she doesn't see (yet)
together we ridiculed him
too short, not my type
i've know him my whole life!
but suddenly
his shoulders; are they broader?
and that voice, its much deeper
stance gotten wider, masculine
more attractive.

this is unquestionably unacceptable
emotional whiplash
how did his eyes get more golden
no,
its just how the sun hits them
we never saw it like this before
a whole new perspective
this isn't healthy

he's defensive, possessive
hard headed and difficult
but
he looks at her differently
how does she not see it?
how did i not see it??
its more tender and caring
dare i say loving

character development
the bane of my existence.

Why would I discuss ****
If Masculine **** is fine
Society don't give it a shape
Mental design get in line

I know this phenomenon
Coz it happened to me
Well now it's a foregon
It wasn't simple as it feel

A girl molested a boy
But boy appeared as pervert
It was like battle of Troy
In which boy was compared with dirt

He can't have a police complain
He can't have any trial
The law doesn't recognise it
Oh dead fish stuck in brail

Police arrested that boy
Subjecting crimes that are not done
Girl acquired fake support from
Feminist people in a bun

This was the end
Of a Real Story
Unknown cases and
Candle march glory..

Not quite white
Not quite latino
Not quite anything

Too dark to be white
Too light to be latino
Too mixed to be anything

Not quite that language
Not quite that accent
Not quite anything

Too feminine for this
Too masculine for that
Too mixed to be anything

Not quite this thing
Not quite that thing
Not quite anything