sparks are spilling
from your eyes
you sprinkle them
around,
ignite our hearts
in scorching waves,
we drown

can there be one
you'll save;
what fate awaits
survivors reaching shore;
they go to war
and time will tell
who burns out
and who
remains

(amongst the embers
a victor shall be named)

and even though
I never cease to burn
the last to stand
I see too late
the game is rigged
and charcoal hands
with ashes cold return

Indignant. Can’t rid myself of this feeling.
Anxious. My blood pressure rises to the ceiling.
Risk. Assessing the situation.  Your caustic venom I wager.
Numb. As you unleash your anger.
Undeserving. I am not a whipping post. My sanity’s in danger.
Undone. I unravel, broken, before the one I love most.
Volatile.  With mood swings, your ramblings become more verbose.
Patience. Mine is infinite but wearing thin.
Hypocritical. We find every excuse to hide ourselves in.
Resolve.  I won’t go down without a fight.  
Spent.  My nerves, as I try to make this right.
Vexed. You drag me down to your level with every low blow.
Drowning**.  I am caught in your tempestuous undertow.

Like water she comes and go's.

Like water, she moves in and out of cracks.

Like water she flows.

Like water she's manipulative.

Like water she's strong.

But she could eventually evaporate.

And don't you dare think that you can manipulate my thoughts
Because I have spent a great portion of my life perfecting my mind
I know what is inside and despite my head being a dark mess I know it and control it and your manipulative attempts will have no use on me
I know how to breathe and how to not and I know how to keep my brain from killing itself on the days when I am falling apart
These are my thoughts and mine alone and it is endlessly laughable that you think they are your own
Not even close

"Don't beat yourself up about it,"

He said this as if by hearing those words
I would not receive the bruises and scratches
That he repeatedly gave to me.
That by hearing those words,
Every hurtful thing he told me was flawed
Could be erased
Dissolved.
He told me not to beat myself up about it
As he was slicing me open.

She was so bubbly
Saliva like soda
Her eyes were so bright you could hear them pop
You could give an audience to the sugary syrup in her voice
You could feel the carbonation on her lips
And you could taste the sweet fizz on her tongue.
She was so bubbly
Before you came
Now she tastes flat.

Under the sheets of emotional armor,
A shy little girl masquerades as a martyr.
She’s the Queen of Deceit with her lies getting smarter,
While every tale told draws her self even farther
From finding out why she’s emotionally bothered
By all of the men in her life: like her father
Who only was trying the best for his daughter
And striving to be something more than a pauper
But coming up short. Who knows how much harder
He’d try if she wasn’t an argument starter?
The guilt and the shame from the family slaughter
Has made her insane and continues to bar her
From finding out just what the world has to offer.

Luckily she won’t have to be here much longer;
In fairy-tale land, there's nothing can harm her.

She suddenly finds herself all alone
With nobody’s thoughts to address but her own.
This is the time when she’d pick up the phone,
Demanding a savior to hear her bemoan
About all the problems that she’s ever known,
But what she doesn’t know is a friend can’t atone
For the lack of a man with his patience to loan
To a lost little girl whose bad temper is known.
All she needs is a strong one that doesn’t condone
All the treacherous lies and the hatred she’s shown.
It’s hard to deny all the reaping she’s sewn.
She’ll have to tread soft lest her cover is blown
And everyone finds out she still hasn’t grown
Through the hundreds of tempers and tantrums she’s thrown.
Hopefully soon she can bury the bone
And calm herself into a nostalgic zone
Where smiles and candles were filling her home
And love and affection were all that was loaned.

Enlightenment comes when you realize you’re prone
To the wrath of the heartache that comes with the throne.

did you think i'd cry
really
i'm the
Master Manipulator
did you think i'd care at all
did you think i meant a word i said
did you,
do you still,

i'll only ******* up
it's all a game to me

Eternal **** Buddy
Wakes up early
We roll around
In bed

Id get up
Make a cup
But he plays
With my head

He's my *******
At 2 am
Whe the liquor
Fills my blood

The coyote ugly
Try to crawl
But the boy
... Hes good

He pulls you in
Oh so easily
Doesnt even try
Yet he gets to me

Eternal **** Buddy
Hes always down
Screaming NO
just makes empty sound.