She was living in multiple alternated realities
constantly fought solis against luna you know
while experiencing delusions and fighting slavery

...Inside of his domestic kingdom,
she figured out who's characters were for show.

Oh god, the ways in which she revealed her own darkness sometimes was sickening but manipulation had before held her captive.
She became a victim with no strength to respond any other way than being passive.

This so-called king possessed weapons of puppetry and diluted morals, she applied fresh lipstick to her face and got ready to constantly give him oral.

Over & over again she misplaced her caring art, seemed to have mastered her heartlessness into a form of art.

Forever she remained mute, nobody sensed her pain if she sat there playing cute.
She stuttered whenever she tried to use her voice, people judged her for being quiet like if it was her own ******* choice.

...Trauma lingered in her mind and on her face, to whom it did not concern as long as she was cooperative dressed in lace.

She was fully aware this darkness she had endured may have triggered inside of her a personality disorder, as she crawled on her knees & repeatedly gave in to his wretched & violating orders.

She was no longer the same proper creature, she was all over the place and possessed heartless features.
How was she supposed to be sure of what she truly feels?
When she could not even tell apart delusions from what is real.

Developing h.p.p.d

I lied.
I lied and said I didn’t care
I said I had no feelings for you.
I thought you had no impact.
I was cold. Chilly like a winters evening. My breath fogging as I twisted the knife.
You went to her, you did.
You said you didn’t sleep with her, but she cried that you did.

And when I met her, her eyes were blazing ambers. If they were lasers they’d tear right through me, my unsuspecting flesh searing in front of you at the dinner table.
Tonight I didn’t know why she hated me. You let me show up, and you sat next to me, and she loudly hated everything about me.

She was bad to me. A rotten core and worms burrowing through her meat.
There aren’t many situations where I feel innocent- we know the solution to all my problems is to blame myself.
But it was you. You. Let her.

I want to tie a message to your wrist saying “don’t do it”, so maybe you’ll look down and think to stop hurting everyone around you. You might read it and decide not to run to me and tell me you love me.

I want to stand in front of you and point to my chest and say “you’re not welcome here anymore”.. but I never let you in in the first place.
I should’ve admitted I loved you, and you shouldn’t have lied to me about sleeping with other women.

Smoking in the ambers from her eyes, we catch fire on the other side of the table. I bite my tongue and swallow down my screaming, you’re shaking as you try and smile through the pain.

You whisper ‘I love you’.
& We are alight, burning hair, burning clothes, burning hearts, burning lies.
I’ll turn to ash and cinders before a reply leaves my lips.
I’m dying, & I won’t say it.