You drink milk
when all that’s served
is water and wine.

You ****** the throbbing
pulse of the night
with your contriving lips.

You dip into the
honey and you
bedizen your seat.

You leave a trail of blood
to lead you back to
where you are from.

You wink and
the world relents.

-
by Aleksander Mielnikow | Alek the Poet

I once went to outer space
I thought it might be beautiful
I thought I might be part of it
But beauty is misleading.

He told me I was safe with him
He said my body was like the stars
And when you’re twelve and insecure
That’s all you want to hear.

Cautiously I trusted him
I stepped outside one toe at first,
I poked my nose just past the door
I grinned at the unknown –

At once
I gasped–
My lungs collapsed.
And body froze in fear and pain.
Lips pursed, he shoved me further out.
“More or else” he screamed.

I cried for Mom.
I begged for home,
My tears solid in the vacuumed space.
But I was told that mothers don’t
Want a child *****.

You can’t make me be who I’m not
I will rebel from your demands
I can’t go along with your manipulation
I’ll chew it up and spit it back in your face
Please don’t force me
You’re setting me up to fail… again

I sit upon a pedestal
My obsession with attention is rooted deep
So deep, that it doesn't appear to you

My pedestal draped in black cloth
Never stands out
You only notice it when you are too far in

My narcissism lines my insides
And so does my habit of manipulation
It runs it’s mouth 70% of the time

And I wish it didn’t
It’s hurting my look
Of being “too kind for my own good”

I’m deceptive, like I said
It’s in my nature
So don’t be surprised if you get your heart broken

Head cut off
Mouth ripped out
Left without a way to cough
Without a way to pout

Forced to keep quiet
By the rulers of the ears
No place to riot
People are running from their own fears

Officials hate a mess
People don’t like a lot of wrecks
So the only way is to suppress
At least in the eyes of the press

Maybe we were drawn together
at fragile time
We saw too much
and accepted this as a paradigm

It makes me sick
what made you tick
was justifying lies
Standing proud
your tiny shroud
your pedestal of grime

And then I broke
you made me choke
on all our little pieces
I spit and sputtered everywhere
watched them float into the creases

Meanwhile my masterpiece was
painting pretty pictures of us
Displaying them
relaying them
in all 4 different seasons

I showed them off to others
exhausted to the core
While I scoured
for our precious tiny pieces on the floor

You stood above me smirking
taller than the sky
You knew I'd never find them
you knew that I'd just cry

One day I just stopped looking
and now I know thats good
Now I draw the line
between I can
and when I should

No longer am I hunched and crunched
on my knees and on my hands
Searching through the carpet fibers
through the dirt
and through the sand

But there's something that I never knew
When I finally said enough
When I held my head up high
And decided to be tough

They said that you would lie to me
And promise to be better
They said that you would write to me
apologies and letters

They said all sorts of tiring things
That I one day saw as true
I didn't want to see it
That the monster was just you

They said that I'd be better off
Once I finally leave
But they never told me years from now
I'd still be missing parts of me