Idiosyncratic
she was so
Idiosyncratic

so *idiosyncratic

she couldn't help but realize
how idiosyncratic
everyone around her was

a bored misanthrope who couldn't stop thinking

the girl made from manic pixie dream dust

Depression is everything
While feeling nothing at all;
It is the innocence of a child
In the presence of an aged soul;
It is as bitter as it is sweet,
For there are moments of joy,
Beautiful in their fleeting ways,
Always pressed under a gray sky;
It is the struggle of hope it portrays
And it is the death of our hope
That leads to suicidal tendencies.

Get me out of here I'm posed to run
Muscles as tense as a rubber band strung
In the middle of this horde of people, I'm just done

My mind is racing, plot my best chance at escape
Eyes darting and seeking, my emotions are being *****
Like nails across a chalkboard being scraped

Please let me through, let me go
This raising feeling of terror, you just don't know
I must be released before I put on a spastic show

I'm trying to contain these feelings
You have no idea with what I am dealing
Suffocation is what I am concealing

Let me out , let me run, let me be
The panic is rising in me
Please, oh please, I'll even plea

Leave the groceries in the cart
Burst through the doors, thats just the start
Trying not to sprint though the lot

Safely inside my vehicle, doors locked
These emotions seek me out, I'm stalked
if I'd stayed in there any longer, they would've been outlining me in chalk

Time is running out
The clock is ticking fast
Tick tick tick
A time bomb waiting to implode
I’m just buying time
Until the hour glass has dropped its last grain of sand
No more turning it right side up and starting all over again
I don’t know how to fake it anymore
Pretend when the seasons change that she’s not on your mind
It’s spring again
The mania has returned
And I won’t stay this time
I won’t wait for the fall to come
For you to realize once again that you’ve made a mistake
Just when I think it’s over, you pull the box out again
I’ve tried to bolt it shut
I kept the key around my neck
You snuck in last night and stole it
When I woke up it was all over the floor
A picture of her flutters down
You pick it up and speak to her
You lie and say nothing was said
It’s just a secret between you and yourself
And you think if you only speak to her in your mind that it will stay that way
I’ve tried to Cauterize the wounds but you open them again and again
Leaving bigger scars than the time before
You look at me and say it’s done
Your secrets still on your breath
No matter what I do she’ll always be there
Right behind me
Breathing down my neck
— AJ Bell blogbatsinthebelfrylove

Pressure is building inside my skull
An intense dulling lull
To much to much
I'm about to be crushed
It's starting to humm, it's starting to buzz
My thoughts are begaining to fuzz
Past anxiety straight to panic
My actions are starting to become manic
So pass me my drugs
Because my Babe's not here to smother me in hugs
I've got to do something, I'm coming undone
And before long I'll be under that **** gun
Then it well be fire at will
Test your skill

When your high
Your unstoppable
Nothing can break you
Your indestructible
Nothing to bring you
down from the clouds
Then it wears off
Like all drugs do
You feel like ****
Everything around you is bad
Even the sunniest of days
Will look like a storm
Once your on that
Downward spiral
Its impossible to break
By this time
You can't speak
You can't ask for help
So you continue
To spiral out of control
Until you hit rock bottom,
and your alone,
and your numb,
and your gone.

I am walking down this path
And I can see

The different colors around me
And the brown fallen leaves
The cloudy but bright color of the sky
A peaceful creek and the slowly streaming water inside

I am walking down this path
And I can smell

The fresh air
And the scent of the dirt on my shoes
The raindrops from last night
A lost daisy in the grass

I am walking down this path
And I can hear

The steps that I happily take
And the playing music in my head
The birds flapping their wings as they soothingly fly away
A mouse that is still awake

I am walking down this path
And I can feel

The light that shines through the branches of the trees
And the warmth it leaves on my skin
The soft breeze touching my loose wavy hair
A feeling that will soon go away, even though I wish it would stay