I almost forgot your  face.
I thought I was you.
My reflection as motherly.
Spitting image they called me.

I walk with ten holes in my body,
My limbs held together by your wisdom
My mind held together by your heart.

Stretched out hands
But still ever so far apart.

I love you. So much it hurts.

But what hurts more
is the screaming
and the yelling
and the insults

I know you love me
so much it hurts

watching me progress from
mary janes to high heels
from face paint to mascara

but one day I'll be gone
and our emotions
need to stop playing
tag

I am not a difficult child.
You are not a difficult mother.
But,
sometimes we have things to say
and
sometimes we say nothing at all.
This,
I suppose is where we are difficult.
Because being human is difficult.

I cannot imagine why so many years ago
you chose to have us. Not because I think
you do not love us, I know you do, but
because of the sorrow my sleep brings to you
on the Sunday mornings I sleep in. Love,
I imagine, is returning from church and
still bringing bread to those who wish not to
consume it in any meaningful sense at all,
or, if consumed, to satisfy hungers so basic
you marvel at what that converted energy
is used for. I have failed still to explain that
I pray in different and marvellous ways that
I don't think are invalid but will still hurt you
nonetheless. This is part of growing up.  

There are many dances that you and my
grandmother have surely danced that I
do not have the rhythm for, but there
are many dances that you and her and I
have that are the same, just as in the Old
Testament there are so many prayers and
blessings and cursings and legacies passed on
from one child to another to another child.
During these passing-ons there are surely
missteps
where some son is bound to step on some mother's
left foot as the rhythms change on time's dancefloor.
There are many examples of this that exist
that don't need to be said. It is all the same.
It is all different. I have pointed these things out
before. Before I finish, let me point out
that when I point out these things
after laughing it is not because
I am making fun of you, but only because
I love you enough to point out the seriousness
of everything in this world with a smile on my face.

How else could I possibly repay that great push
you gave all those years ago
to allow this poem to breathe in this form?

Windshield wipers
slappin' time
Grandpa drivin'
Grandma singin'...

Goin' home from my
weekly Wednesday visit

after my mama died...

only   allowed
one day a week
with Grandma
my mama's mama...

Always a stop
at the store
for one more
Golden book
and a roll of Lifesavers
on the way home...

and I remember
my  tears
going back  to a place
that did not feel
like home
and Grandma singin'
"You are my sunshine
my only sunshine".

My tears are fallin'
now
with the memory
of her voice
and the sight and sound
of the rain...

Grandpa drivin'
and Grandma singin'....
and those windshield wipers
they were slappin' time...

cj 2016

She was unique;
Her story was not.
Clutching a torn teddy
imprinting ****** footprints
while she absconds
from her assailant
she calls 'mama'
until
a good Samaritan replied
placed her in an institution
caged with other children
where they hate 'mama',
they beat her
till she called 'mama' no more.

I carry my mother wherever I go
and I am my mother the more I grow
she is a lady who never quits no matter the hurdle
a perfect example of endurance I've seen since my cradle
till now that I'm Journeying to the Grave,
she is wonderfully made and brave
a proof that true love exists, yes my mother
she loved Justus, she loved Ezra, she loved Cornel,Olive, Lucy,I & my father
the praise the Pacific receives is because the world isn't aware of the vastness of my mother's heart
she is a firm centrepiece and her family's close even when set apart
by the Sea that hides cornel out of sight somewhere in  Turkey
by the fresh responsibilities that blanket Lucy in Nairobi
by Destiny that holds father captive Home by the Countryside
Work that's keeping Justo and Oli dancing to the tune of Mint,
Ezra working his fingers to the bone
for my niece Shanty to spring up to a brighter dawn
Hustle that often keeps Mama a far toiling so that we become
who we are and who we will be tomorrow
and Education and future that manacles me in this city
Mama's the best student of the family
for she learnt all our
Weakness, Threats, Opportunities and Strength
weaknesses and helped us overcome
our threats and dug them out even when it meant whipping our *****
the opportunities she opened our eyes to
and our might, she is the reason we all know where our strength lieth
Mama'll always be the law that I follow
the woman I trust most and the best thing that ever happened to me
I carry my Mama in my Heart, I carry my Mama in my Soul
my Mama is my face, my Mama is my character too
she taught us to spread love wherever we go
by loving us unconditionally
she taught us to make the best decisions
for she chose for us the best Papa in the Stellar
she taught us to endure from her persistence
and today we stand for the people because from her resistance
& fight for what's right, truth defines our existence
I'm proud to say I carry my mother wherever I go
I carry her smile, I go an extra mile
I carry her heart even if not in the same measure
I carry her Soul, world's greatest treasure
And I carry her person in my Heart everywhere I go
Call me young, but I will always walk
with my Mother and pieces of my father
if I am an art piece of clay
the two are responsible for the pottery
and being moulded in such warm and caring arms
feels better than winning any lottery
or accidentally finding oneself in a treasury
I love Mama not only because her womb was my safest sanctuary
but also because she's the best player in the siblings I have & love
the baby and boy I was yesterday, the young man I am today
and the success of the person I see in my tomorrow
she's responsible for the art in my Heart
the upper in my cut and the purr in my cat
I love you Mama, World's most wonderful woman
Sending you this message from Stars away
Simply to Say
I love you Mama and
Happy Women's Day

Dear Mama, you taught me well,
but that's something I'd never tell,
cause complacency is what you preached,
so silence is what I reached.

Mama, you taught me well,
to sit and fiddle, do not wail,
but my emotions are worth much more,
when they aren't hidden behind the door.

Mama, you taught me well,
wishing for naught, I let myself dwell,
and so I idolized all the wrong people,
and followed demands like sheeple.

Mama, you taught me well,
to allow myself to mask my yell,
my tears, my frigid fears, my feelings unspoken,
when my heart lay here so broken.

Mama, you taught me well,
to lock myself into my own cell,
and now I feel I need release,
my soul deserves to be at peace.

Dear Mama, you taught me well,
but this sort of life I wish to quell,
and so I say I must change,
your lessons to me, estrange.

We may fight at times but I love her

Today I helped you fix you're hair and I rembered the way you did my hair every day when I was and I wanted you to do my hair like a  hot airballoon  

you did every day so thank you mama I'll rember thoughts day and be great full for all youve done

Thank you mama 17 years you've loved me so happy birthday mama

You're my mama and I'd never ask for more

Mama didn’t know
Our Daddy could dance.
He kept it a secret
In the name of romance.
We knew he could sing,
He did it every day
How could we know
He could dance that way?

Go on and dance, Daddy dance!
Who knew he had rhythm?
Daddy had him some moves
And Mama go dance with him!

Daddy loved his music
But didn’t like to go out.
Mama loved to go to dances
But she never liked to pout.
She just suffered in silence
And danced in all alone
In the kitchen by herself
In her own jazzy zone.

Go on and dance, Daddy dance!
Who knew he had rhythm?
Daddy had him some moves
And Mama go dance with him!

The radio would come on
And Mama began to wiggle.
Dad sat and read his paper
But, he would quietly giggle.
Mama would take his hand
Try to get him to get up.
He’d just shake his head no
Go back to his coffee cup.

Go on and dance, Daddy dance!
Who knew he had rhythm?
Daddy had him some moves
And Mama go dance with him!

Then their anniversary came
And we could tell Daddy didn’t
Have any idea what he
Could give her as a present.
So, he got them all dressed
And took her out to on the town
And surprised our Mama good
When he boogied her around.

Go on and dance, Daddy dance!
Who knew he had rhythm?
Daddy had him some moves
And Mama go dance with him!