Lust
       On
            Fingertips
                      Is Better
            Than
       Love
From
        *Lying Lips

This isn't a poem
this is just to make you think it's a poem
really it's just a few splurs of verbiage
thrown onto a template
and then you probably wonder what kinda template I'm using
and then you probably google poetry templates
and then you might think to yourself
that's bullox
you can't make a template for poetry
and you'd be right
cuz I'm lying.

Every day a facade,
a fake.
What is it
that you’re trying not to break?
Pieces of you
and pieces of me
are already broken,
not ever neatly.
Everyone trying
to live in their lies.
Everyone struggling
to simply get by.
Who would ever,
when there was a crack,
take a blow at it all
and never look back?
Who left me,
bleeding on the floor,
crying behind locked doors?
Did I do this?
Did I ruin my own blissfullness?


....Are we to blame
for
our
own

d
    o
        w
            n
                f
                   a
                       l
                          l
                            s
                              ????

I pack my bag. A girl approaches me.
"I love your jacket! "
/I hate my life./
"Thank you! Me too!"                  
I hurriedly make my way across the side walk.
" I really like your boots."    
/I really don't like being alive./
" Thanks! They were at Target!"
I glance at my tattered agenda.
" I wish I could do make up like you!"
/I wish I would get hit by a car. /
"Aww, thanks! You can always try watching YouTube makeup tutorials for help!"            
/I seriously need help./
I scribble doodles in the margins of my notes.
" I wish I could draw like you!"
/I wish I could have my life together./
" Thanks, but it's  predominantly in practicing. Draw like you, instead!"
I crumple papers with shaking hands.
" I dig your sense of style."                
/ I wish I had my sense of direction./
"Thanks, that makes me feel nice!"
I dig the dirt beneath my jagged nail.
" You always look so cute."
/ I always look for reasons to not **** myself./
"Awh, thanks! I try."
I slouch into a computer chair.
"You look tired."
/I'm tired of  my life./
" I'm actually not. I just have naturally dark circles under my eyes, is all."
I glance up at a familiar face.
"How are you?"
/I'm drowning./
"I'm ...surviving. ."

I may* have put up a happy surface
but* my soul is not happy
I may have put up a joyful face
but I am not enjoying any of it
I may always seem fine
but inside it is all poles apart
I have lied to myself
but I am not any more
I used to think I was happy
but now I know I am not

*(Marolle)

You are already caught by the act
Yet like a criminal that you are
you're creating stories for me to believe
well sorry..dear..
those stories
are just lame excuse

You are already caught by the act
Yet like a criminal that you are
you're creating stories for me to believe
well sorry..dear..
those stories
are just lame excuse

pleasure was on your mind,
you knew what you were doing.
no respect for anyone,
my lover you were *******.

how did it feel?
was it worth my pain?
do you regret it now?
are you going insane?

i hope you really comprehend,
what it is you did.
you lied to to my face you know,
and when we spoke it is you who hid.

goodbye phony,
have a mediocre life.
**** with people's lovers,
never forget our strife.

I can no longer bear
to look into your lying eyes;
there is such  deep sadness
when love dies

I can no longer bear
to be held in your cheating arms;
the beautiful hands that once held mine
have lost all their charm

I can no longer bear
to hold a place in your misleading heart;
my heart once held you in such high graces
but you pierced it with a fickle dart

I gave you all I had
and I suffered all the pain;
You took it all for granted
It was all for your gain

All this time you deceived me,
letting you was my mistake.
And somehow I forgive you,
for my own sake

Now when I say my final goodbye
suddenly you want to apologize;
you want to be my ‘everything’
but I no longer choose to agonize..

..over you.