I sit here in my apartment, on a Sunday morning
Completely hung over, without a **** warning
Last night was brutal and harsh, it wasn’t kind
Things went to ****, I was drunk out of my mind
Lost my girlfriend of 15 years, that evil *****
Cheating with my best friend, he’s not even rich

I never saw it coming, I’ve been so busy as of late
Working to pay the bills, it’s getting old at this rate
The social life is something I try to make time for
I feel like here lately, the battle is a never-ending war
My friends want me to go out, every Friday night
But I’m sick of them starting a ******* fight

I need to break from the pack, start finding new friends
Looking at the last few years, I need to make a cleanse
As I sit here and try to make sense of every **** thing
It’s a struggle, it’s nothing but stale beer and nicotine
The pain has sent me into this spiral, I’m freaking out
Not really sure if I can go on, I really have my doubts

Take a shot when you say something quick
To avoid repeating past trauma.
Take a shot every time you get sick over this big web of lies that you've spun up.
Take two when you say it without thinking at all and don't realize for hours later.
Take two when the shame of it creeps up your neck and you want it to leave but it lingers.
Three for the white lies and pity plays,
Three for the guilt that you feel.
Four when you've said it all so many times
That you're never quite sure what IS real.

she told me,
that nothing feels real
i asked her,
what she meant
she replied,
because it doesn't feel like
you are actually lying
by my side

you do not know
with what fervor I love you
you do not know
how very true

you say that now
but the questions how
makes me blue
‘cause it ain’t true

you always lie
it makes me cry
you say these things
yet no truth rings

why do you make them up every day
don’t they pain you much to say
why do you tell lies to me
lies do not set you free

they twist you up inside with pain
tie you down to the tracks of a train
they cut you up and give you scars
feels like getting hit by cars

don’t lie to me

Everyone is smiling
And they aren't happy
They're laughing
At nothing
And I'm just so tired
Can you please just stop lying
You aren't happy
It wasn't funny
And now you're so mad
At me
Because I peeled off your mask.
My heart is pounding
And I'm shaking
But I'm not suffocating

I only have two friends in this world.

Jesse and Christina.

I pray for them everyday.

All they rest have gone away.

Because I'm tired of all the lying.

I'm tired of all the drama.

I just want to be happy.

Is that such a problem?

Apparently.

Some may say I'm lonely - but they don't have a clue.
I have the best friend there could possibly be.
I may not be able to see him, but why should that matter?
I know that I can trust him - he won't tell a soul.
Not like "real people" who lie, cheat and snitch on you.
My friend may be nameless, but he is always here for me.
Not like you.
You come and go as you please; you hurt me and betray me.
You say "I'm just a phone call away."
Yet when I call, you never pick up.
He is always there - just a thought away;
He never lies;
Never cheats;
Never snitches.
Do you honestly blame me for having "trust issues"?
Well, that's your problem.

Crush your bones into a fine powder
Twit your mind in little strings, tie and tangle them
Gouge out your eyes, lie about sight
Shred your limbs, tie them like bows
Rip off your nails, glue on plastic
Keep lying
Keep it up
Stop breathing
Your lungs are just birthday balloons
Only needed for special occations