I'm kinda bad at making friends
but even worse at keeping them.
Hold everyone at a distance,
when they leave put up no resistance.
I know I will say goodbye soon,
to even those I'm closest to.
Compartmentalize, tell aimless lies,
never truly look into their eyes.
Loneliness is self inflicted.
The death of friendship isn't only predicted,
but anticipated and orchestrated.
Over and over this has been demonstrated.
Apathy feeds isolation,
causing me to turn from anyone
who turns even slightly away from me.
Now, isolation feeds apathy,
I move on so quickly from the friends I lose,
and so you see the cycle continues.

-“Tell me a secret”
-I love you. “I don’t have any.”

I've told this lie before.
Every time, you believed me.

When something's seriously wrong,
I've no idea how to tell.
Something must be wrong with me,
I have no warning bell.
Liars, cheaters, chronic deceivers
seem trustworthy and kind.
I'll put my trust in anyone
who bothers to give me their time.
The benefit of the doubt
is a dangerous gift to give.
I see the fire, but still take the chance,
thinking "Either way, I'll live."
Pain seems easy enough to prevent,
signs alert me to imminent hell.
Yet often I turn my head and ignore,
because I hear no warning bell.

i'm tired of treading lightly
scraping teeth against my tongue
to stifle the truth
exhausting a mind masquerading as a thesaurus
trying to find the prettiest words
to protect your heart

Embalmed within the suffocations
of modern society. I have the weight
contorted upon the covering of my mind.

Obscured within a coffin of  white noise
deafening my existence. I only see voids
of reflection clouded within my reality.

Lying beneath so many layers of contorted
nonsense. I live for the time of censorship,
Where life was silent and I wasn't buried.

I can’t undo what has been done.
Cannot unsing a song that’s been sung.
The guilt I feel over this deception,
Clouded by lust from my exception.

I never thought I’d be the one insincere,
Until we met and you drew me near.
Though it was wrong, it felt so right.
I tried to say no, but I lost the fight.

How do I crawl back into my old bed,
When there is so much left unsaid?
I will forever carry the weight of this secret,
and force myself to keep it.

It was an accident
“An accident?”
An accident.

It was an accident
My finger slipped
I tumbled down
Onto the ground.

“Onto the ground?”
Onto the ground.

It was an accident
“An accident?”
An accident

It was an accident
My finger slipped
So the knife tumbled down.
“Onto the ground?”
Onto the ground.

It was an accident
“An accident?”
An accident.

It was an accident
My finger slipped
I threw myself down on the ground.
Wait no-
It was an accident
My finger slipped
I fell down to the ground.

It was an accident
“An accident?”
An accident

It was an accident
My finger slipped
As i bled out on the ground
Staring at my phone not moving around.
Wait no-
It was an accident
My finger slipped
My phone was far away.

It was an accident
“An accident?”
An accident.

It was an accident
My finger slipped
I forgot to lock the door
“You forgot to lock the door?”
I forgot to lock the door.
But i also forgot to push you away more.

It was an accident
“An accident?”
An accident.

It was an accident
My slinger flipped
....
It was an accident
My flipped slinger
.....
It wasn’t an accident
“I know.”
I’m sorry it wasn’t an accident.
“I knew your finger didn’t slip.”
I’m sorry i lied about it being an accident
“It’s okay
You just didn’t know what to say.”

My finger slipped
But it wasn’t an accident.