you ripped my heart out
and you kept it for yourself
you tried giving it back to me
piece by piece
so that you could see
just how badly i wanted you
it was a ******* game
which you gained pleasure from
when all i screamed for when it was all over
was for my heart back
broken or whole
yet you kept control
and i am the one feeding your own heart
with this now hollow chest
and gauging emptiness you left

i am so exhausted by consistently loving you while you inconsistently "love" me

My heart aches but cannot
feel
My eyes wonder but cannot
stare
My lips yearn but cannot
touch
My hands brush but cannot
stay
My stomach flips but cannot
rest
My tears flow they cannot be
stopped.

time ticking
the countdown of our love
the expiration date
the end of the book
the end of a good song
the end of you and i, and us

you changed
everything
for me
of what i knew
or thought i knew
of love
you redefined
you shaped
you molded
as if i was flat clay
which had no form
you formed me
bit by bit
slowly, gently
you smoothed out
my rough edges
you made me
a whole piece
with you,
or on my own
you changed
everything
everything
that i knew
of love

the type of love where i catch you staring at me. longingly. admiringly. the type of love i can feel, not only hear. 
the type of love where i look over at you. my eyes become fixated. locked. my heart becomes warm. full. the type of love where i look at you. and i love you. i simply. i love you. 
you meet my glance. with no words. you love me back. you love me back. you don’t even need to say.

and we think that we love each other
but we don't
and this is the most heartbreaking part

if people were love notes
none of us would be lonely anymore
if people bled passion
we would laugh at heartache

and when you said goodbye
it felt like the entire world had died

i loved you
because you loved me
but that isn't even
all of it
you were so special to me
you were, you were
i'm not sure why
but you were