it's too loud.

every thought
stop talking, you're weird
in my head
they don't listen
increases volume
louder. louder.
by the second.

it's getting too loud.
too much.

am i too much?

why did you have to make it so hard
why did you you grasp onto me
like sticky rice on a fork
i hate that i had to tap the side of the bowl
instead of pour you out
i didn't get to do it slowly
it made a noise
and now you have to live
with ringing in your ears
it may have been loud
but at least it was fast
either way
you had to let me go

What if today I took up space,
Decided it’s okay to love my face?
I’m allowed to scream and shout,
Don’t have to fake it, or hide to pout.

What if I told you you’d caught my eye,
Instead of waiting as moments pass by?
Would I then be viewed aggressive?
For knowing what I want, deemed obsessive?

Maybe I just want my needs fulfilled,
To show you I’m here, and equally skilled.

What if I let myself laugh too loud,
Not worrying about standing out in a crowd?
Let my opinions spill like wine,
No apologizing for these thoughts that are mine.

What if I danced alone in the street,
Made strangers smile at my untamed beat?
Would I still be called too much,
Or would someone finally crave my touch?

What if I didn’t talk myself down,
Lived my truth without fearing your frown?

I could say whatever comes to mind,
No more stitches, my lips now unbind.
I’ve made myself so small these days,
But I want to be big, have my turn on the stage.

This time I won’t even perform,
I’ll give a speech, I’ll change my norm.
Maybe it’s time to be unhinged,
To let myself out, chase a few whims.

Listen.
Stop not listening.

I’ve been tapped.
Sap bleeds.
It stings where sweetness lives.

Give me your ears.
I’ll torch ‘em to caramel.
I don’t need your lips,
your yowls, your static.
But taste.

Just ******* syrup.

Your screech gnaws
at the stem of my melody.

Eat the fruit.
Chew the pit.