I can already feel the bullet on the roof of my mouth.
I can taste the metal.
It's just the blood that lingers.
Happenings wear down innocence.
Time withers smiles.
They say everyone grows up eventually,
They keep asking when I will.
I've always wondered why people ask questions they know the answer to.
I guess they need to hear someone else say it.
Maybe it's just not real until someone says it aloud.
Maybe you don't know you love someone until you lose them in a crowd.
I think that's the real test
Do you remember what they were wearing?
Do you remember what they look like?
How much time did you spend today looking at them?
It's funny how little you actually remember about someone.
It's funny how much you do too.
I don't remember my mother's birthday, but I do remember what you were wearing the day I met you.
I remember the way you looked up from your coffee and smiled.
I remember your eyes, and how they reminded me of tall evergreens stretching into eternity.
Anything seemed possible when your lips curled into a smile.
I could conquer the world when you curled into my arms.
Even your sighs sounded like they must have been written by some famous composer.
But I guess that's all just love.

Sometimes I just have a lot to say,
Things I've been thinking,
Things that have more meaning,
This is why I write,
No one person has the patience to listen,
To learn,
To think,
No one to tell of all the love or pain I feel,
Not one soul will listen or I am not willing to say,
No one but my notes and my keyboard will ever know everything,
For it's would take years to say what I have to say,
To explain what I have to say,
I've got a lot to say.

I want to get out
if I get woken up by the screams of my mother,
drunk or hungover
one more time,
I'm going to lose my ******* mind!
It's the same thing at 3 A.M, and in the morning
I've got some real ****** friends
She stopped talking to me over the summer
and they all let me fall into feeling worthless
Now they're back in my life, and I could not care less about them
My friends, they're real winners!
They'll **** the love and energy right out of me,
make me feel horrible any time I say what I feel
Like I don't matter? Like I shouldn't be there at all!?
I used to be left behind, but now I drive everyone around.
I had some time to think about how my family could go broke,
but here we are, driving a bunch of ungrateful kids around,
and for what in return?! I get their company?
Ha. Like that's worth anything.
I'm just so tired of this town.
Full of people who will break you,
There's really only one person worth staying here for.
Nope, it's not my best friend.
I'm just so tired of false security.
I want to get out
and
rebuild myself
Oh but I'm much too young,
much too tired from the chaos

I put a message in it
Corked and cast it into the sea
Saying , go find my lover
Bring her back to me

. . .as the surf swirled around my heart
I was shoved and pulled apart . . .

Oh ! full moon tide take away my bottle
Sweep it far away from me
Take it to my lover
So she can see what she means to me

. . .bobbing in the crest . . .
between ocean and sunset . . .
there are glints and flashes . . .
of my bottle and the contents that are in it

I threw a bottle . . .
take it far from me . . .
take it across the Atlantic
to the one . . .
who is in love with me

her critical thinking gone astray
her tupperware mind seals in the flavor of her intents
nail polish chipped
no ring to show the lay of the land
bright eyed with hints of joys
sunglasses askew
lipstick on her neck
this casual girl
in one brief moment our worlds collide
parking lot of seven eleven
she is a complex song not to be heard
but to be felt with the heart
this casual girl
she unbuttons her shirt
and shows her new tattoo
woven pattern of snakes and flowers
reflection of the mind perhaps
reflection of the casual girl and her inner tears
my heart grips this as she turns to leave
this casual girl
slave to her moment
she must go with the crowd
she must be a popular girl
in that brief moment our worlds collided
she spun like the summer sun free of her tears
she lived for my presence for the first and last time
she desired to speak to me
i never even knew
this casual girl

tears drown & swallow my sacrifice whole while

twisting & tearing

my bleeding heart.

ever so gently scratching;

eating away the seeds

that have been planted

while we were apart

difficult to distinguish bad from good

i blow you my trust in a kiss

soft as satin;

shivering in fear

someone else could hold you dear

that you'll slip away

or worse yet you'll leave my mind

or wander astray from these weary eyes

begging for someone

anyone else

as anger rages like a tornado inside

and i swear on my life

that this will be the last time

the aching buried in my dreams want this to be the last time

the numbness in my soul i crave for

knows it wont be the last time.

wishing things were different

so i didnt have to argue

or stumble into knives

that drive down our spines

swearing up and down

we wished we hadnt met

or danced

thinking it will solve

pools of regret.

grazing cold fingers

down the sides of my cheeks again

i feel something break

plummeting

into a billion peices on your ***** bed

along with the rest of your life you dont care about.

arrogance seems to be your best feature

admitting there is no point explaining

what you already know

and choose to ignore.

you sit back content

wanting nothing more

staring with a blank expression as my bleeding heart

falls to the floor.

throwing papers
up in the air
everywhere
wonderful bliss
4 years for this
I miss you now
we talked about how
this would be us
kissing
throwing it up
not giving a ****
i don't give a ****
i really don't

graduating next week
and i pretend to be sad to go
it really doesn't matter
ill walk and ill bow
ill get my diploma
i really don't know how....
I got the papers from the recycling bin
it says a lot doesn't it