And to let you know

Your words are talking to me now

You are not there

But your feel is

I talk idiotically

I answer the questions you posed

I was too busy then

I couldn’t answer to them

I was not with you

Not there with you when needed

Not there when it drizzled

Not there under a clear blue sky

Not on the path we trod once

Held hands

Stole kisses

I was not there when I had to be

You did well

You left your memories behind

Only to be reawakened

Each time I go through it

Every time I pay a visit to your ‘world of words’

I  understand this

All over again

You are away to the stars

Not with me anymore

It’s hard, Ohh, it is!

To believe you are gone

Left with I am, your writings

Keeping you alive through it

Still talking me

I keep coming back to it

And yes call me selfish

I only read about wonderful times

And not about the hard times you wrote of

It is even harder as I try

To close my eyes

To believe you are still here

In this realm

Prized possessions

As it yours

The only thing that takes me to you

Only thing I am left with

Never will I learn
To stay away from fire
Aware that I will be burned
Yet still I crave its heat

clouds bubble over the horizon
waves boil toward shore
surges of fury
of passion
swoop
onto crisp sand.
Golden eyes burst
into the day
to capture the elixir
beaming back at her
soul searching gaze.
Cracks reach
across the horizon
mirroring the eve just before,
over that same gentle shore.
A blood-orange moon
we held each other under, ****.
But that still couldn’t dazzle my gaze,
as much as you.

when the loneliness kicks in
i miss feeling understood

sometimes i look at pictures
some seem too ordinary
too ordinary, that i have to cry again

tears stream and never stop
my mind wonders to the past
the way you left such sweet remarks

i will never understand why you did
but i dont need to
and i treasure every gift

re read the literature that you left
it keeps me alive, in loneliness

For the one who loved,
out he walked,
Couldn’t stay for less,
knew there wasn’t more.

Heart that ached,
And grieved the loss,
Bore scars that never fade,
covered in icy frost.


Years later when paths met,
he knew t’was all too late,
“Do I steal a smile?”
“Or share a word?”
“Shall I stay for good?”
“Or walk instead?”

A thousand questions barged his peace,
Reminding him of an ache that shall never cease,
Suffer, shall not, his wounded heart,
He walked away to a path apart.

There are still surges of grief
when I hear of you
being somewhere that I’m not.
There are still spurts of rawness
when I think of you
doing things where I’m not.
The emotion rises suddenly
like fizzing, bubbling waves
cresting on sand
then abating
but
ready to come again.
It makes me breathless,
takes me by surprise -
the speedy upswell of feeling
from a deep well
that does not yet seem emptied.
Trying to keep my face calm
expressionless
as the emotion surges within.
An observer could note a twitch,
a saddening of the eyes
as my thoughts turn inwards
and remember that we’re not.

You gave the words
I used my ink.

I wrote the lines
that made you think.

You became speechles
I waited for reply.

You ended the story
but there was no goodbye.