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the loneliness glides over my skin
burrows deeps
and settles into my bones
no matter what I do
it never leaves
I could talk all day to everybody
I could have a million friends
but I would still feel the same
lonely
soul chilling loneliness
never ceasing
Ren Apr 19
You touch me like a whisper meant for no one,
Soft, fleeting, fading when the world looks away.
I reach, not to hold, but to be held,
In the quiet ache where your silences stay.

Would you notice if I disappeared in parts?
If I cracked my ribs just to make you look back?
Would you still see me in bruised silhouettes,
Or am I just the echo you never unpacked?

My mother taught me how to be still for others,
How to swallow storms and call it peace.
But I am not a pond, love. I am the sea,
And you sail me blindfolded, begging for ease.

You cried at the lake, and I broke with you.
Every bone in me folded like paper in rain.
I said the wrong thing. God, I always do,
But I’d drown a thousand times to lift your pain.

At night, there's a voice, not mine, not yours,
Singing about dancers and distance and fate.
It tells me I’m a line without a hook,
A verse unfinished, a heart too late.

You say I’m sweet, you say I’m kind.
But only when no one hears.
And I let you, every time,
Because rejection is better than disappearing.

So if you ever return, soaked and shaking,
Know that I am still standing where the tide breaks,
Not waiting, not hoping, just aching
In the place where your love never wakes.
wrote it based on one of my fav songs, line without a hook
Ren Apr 18
I know I shouldn’t ache like this, I do,
You were never mine, not in word or vow.
Yet watching you with him, some part withdrew,
Like losing something sacred, even now.

I saw the signs, you turned your gaze away,
Laughed softer, answered slower, broke the thread.
But still I stitched my hope into each day,
Pretending you were paused—not gone, not led.

You never lied. You never called it love.
I wrote those dreams in ink you never touched.
You said “we’re friends,” and I said “close enough,”
While shaking hands betrayed I cared too much.

Now he walks with you where I once would dare,
My silence roars, and still I call it fair.
probably the last poem to the series of my other heartfelt romantic poems
Aaamour Apr 18
She stands there laughing with her friends,
While I fantasise about her, as I read my books

I tracked the way to the station she gets off at,
I couldn't track a way to her heart

I thought love was like the colourful trees, the tall buildings.
That the metro passes through,
I forgot the slums and the tunnels.

Fate made us stand together once, time paused, the worry about my meetings lost,
I just stood there, in awe, looking at her, lost in her eyes.

Eventually, I learned that the girl in the metro had a guy,
And now comes my station forcing me to step out of the metro.
This is my heart broken in two,                                                             ­                                                                      ­                                                      
it can't heal; it still loves you                                                              ­            
                                                    ­                                                              
Th­ese are my eyes tearing & blue                                                             ­     
                                                           ­                                                       
They can't dry; I still miss you                                                              ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­           
                                                                ­                                                  
These are my hands, shaking so bad                                                              ­                                                  
              ­                                                                 ­                                 
They just let go of the best I've had                                                            
                                                                ­                                                 
 These are my lips cracked & dry                                                          
                                                                ­                                              
Missing your kiss, asking why?                                                             ­                 
                                               ­                                                               
 ­ These are my feet unable to move                                                             ­         
                                                                ­                                                      
I can't live here without you                                                              ­                                                                 ­                                     
                                                                ­                                                
This is my life without you in it                                                                     ­                                        
 Missing a piece that only you fit
I wish I could expell
This wild beast from my chest,
This bottomless well,
Merciless tempest.
.
It roars and screams
For things it can't get:
Insubstantial dreams,
Uncollected debt.
.
And it isn't fair
That efforts mean naught;
When all is laid bare -
Love can't be bought.
.
I long and I ache,
At the mercy of fate,
Its give and take,
The cruelest bait.
.
The suffocating need
To not be alone,
Unrelenting greed,
Scathing to the bone.
.
It rakes its claws deep
Through my ribcage,
Makes me weep,
Helpless with rage.
.
Its loathsome fury,
Feral with want,
My judge and jury,
Inescapable haunt.
.
And it makes me think
That it's you I'm missing,
But it's really that link,
That has me reminiscing.
.
And I tried with such ardor
To find it once more,
But it's getting harder,
And my soul is sore.
.
Tired of hoping
And letdowns, in vain,
Tired of coping
With this constant pain.
.
If I were not godless
Surely I would pray
To finally convalesce,
To just get away.
.
16.04.2025.
Chris Apr 15
I hear the feet steps rush past me
It's a daily occurrence but I'm tired
Of given attention to those that hear me
But can never see me as I am
Stuck in reverse where I look to the past
Beging to be looked passed
Screaming banging on this wall of glass
To be set free from my unrequited sanctuary
It's my own fault I quarantined myself
Was it for self preservation
or simply outta fear
to get near
what I can't understand
Or preservation from all this anguish
The past refuses to release me from
I don't mean to be who I am
Do you not understand me?!?
Or did I never give you that opportunity
All I won't is unity
To hold your hand in mine
To be given love so divine
But how can I ask for that
When I'm stuck behind my house of glass
Waiting to be shattered
Yet I have no stones to throw for that matter
Please just try let me
be seen through to my core
But I do want to show you so much more
Push pass my past
I'm my own worst enemy
I can't deny that fact the mirror mocks me
My reflection distorted
A faceless figure of who I believe is me
Screaming....screaming....stop screaming
My ears are bleeding
I don't mean to be who I am
Please believe me
I never wanted to hurt you
I know my silence is deafening
But it's my only mask I have
Tragic as it is I'm my own nightmare
Trapped hiding behind my wall of glass
That only reflects the things I can't get past
Do you understand?!?
I don't mean to be who I am
I scream again
It's useless I been like this for years
I say through my eyes pooling with tears
Drowning in my own demise
Why can't I get past this disguise
I never wonted to be alone
By this self inflicted fate
Because I push anyone that might
Break my glass
My hellish sanctuary
That protects me?!?
from what.....
Something i no longer desire
See me look pass my distorted image
If I let you......
I will let you
Do you understand?!
Just please hold my hand
An promise me this
That I truly won't die alone
Cuz all I require is unity
Someone to understand
Can you Understand?!?




                      PLEASE......
Writen by my girlfriend.
i find the crossroads
i have a tendency to
walk into
during times like these

it’s empty here
except for the invading gusts
of mannerless winds
that don’t say “excuse me”
or “please”
as they pass me

i await for a vehicle
my preference would be
an expensive one
like a really nice rolce royce
to make this quick
painless but pricey

i can feel weight on my chest
about such a lightness in my life
i have people
but there’s this recurring
lack of soul
that makes me feel
ancient and aimless
like lost history
that everyone is familiar with
but no one truly knows
anything of

i feel like the homeless men
i pass by on 137th street
they go by unseen
might as well be six feet deep
in a cemetery

i observe my helpless will
crave for the ability to slow
my mothers inevitable aging
as it shuffles through files
and memory after memory
in search of some hidden
ancient
wisdom to stop time

my dwindling creations
collect dust
in a digital shelf
while i deal with the rust
i’ve allowed to form
in my bank accounts
credit score
and stomach

there’s so much maintenance
towards the inflammation
in my life
that there’s no more antibodies
for anything else
so much struggle to hold
this boulder up over
my neck
which makes me strong
but this constant sweat
leave no more water
for tears

i don’t crave opportunity
i don’t need a friend
i love my lover and my mother
but they ain’t meets to an end
of the never ending fear
of simply not being enough

i crave release from my own responsibilities
i find this tug of war between
sacrificing the self
to overcome it
in order for the greater goods to be
fulfilled
as well as this death of my ego
while
making sure my soul
is still grounded
to be *******
exhausting

i crave a pasture

allowing me to float over the singular blades of grass
allowing me to become
weightless
in the face of all this
pressure

i remember being a boy
and in my island the hills
and mountains and beachfronts
have their own voices

i remember distinctly climbing highly
or swimming far out
or exploration between the tree lines
to be a form of soothing
not therapy
but rather warm rejuvenation

where i wouldn’t think about
my finances and debts
or my relationships and ties to
characters i love
the ones i tolerate
and the ones i’m trying to love
i wouldn’t think about
stability or a consistent routine and schedule

i’m all grown up now
and my creativity compared to
the vast
and endless universes
i’d hide in
as a boy
are a forest fire
compared to my candle
at twenty three years old

i lay here silent
in the middle of this crossroads
waiting for that kid
to come hold my hand and teach me something
because he had the right answers
or at least better answers
he cared about the right things
he genuinely saw
the divinity
in all
and now i’m old enough
to struggle finding the silver lining
in anything

i remember being so creative
that life was almost missing suffering

where the lack of it wasn’t even anywhere near my awareness
and i wasn’t anywhere near as brave
or strong
or wise

it’s almost like the more i know
the older i get
the more i go through
and the more bills i pay
the less of a human being
i become

where the
****
is this **** car
already

hurry up

-melancholicreator
i crave a pasture
I have no idea how to make friends
I don't know what to say
or to talk about
I don't know if I talk too much
and will scare them away
I try my best
but I'm not sure if it's good enough
I want more friends
and I'm trying to put myself out there
advice is welcome
Kenshō Apr 10
Loneliness for an introvert
Is like the sun peaking through the rain.

It creates so many beautiful rainbows,
For one to view through a window.

Somebody on the other side is
looking at the same rainbow.

But only
If I had someone to share
this with.
.
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