Have you ever wondered
What it's like to live a life that's been plundered
Body and emotions *****
What kind of monstrous life it shaped

Let me tell you a story
I apologize now, it maybe a little gory
It's about a little girls life
How she was forced to walk on the edge of the knife

The sadness started at her birth
At this event there was no mirth
Before her a brother at 4 months had died
She was not born a boy so her mother cried
But she was the apple of her Dad's eye

So for the next 7 years
Her world was full of cheer
Except for her mother's geers

There was mud pies
Sunny sky's
Bicycle rides
Slip and slides
Camping trips
Potato chips
Fishing poles
Daddy's hand to hold
Big sisters kisses
Mother's suppers delicious

Then came the split
Her heart was ripped

A dad rarely seen
A mother that was mean
Then came the step dad, what he did was obscene

A mom never knowing
Around the girl the darkness was growing
The keys on his belt jingled down the hall
He was coming to call
Under the covers the girl of 8 cowered
For he held all the power

Step dad beat the girl's mom all the time
He threatened the child, "tell no one, I claim you as mine"
She told not a soul, not even her Dad
She was afraid step dad would hurt him bad
Besides a new family with a new baby boy her Dad had

So she suffered in silence till the age of 14
When thinking back on what her years had gleaned
For her dad had recently passed away
It made her heart cave
She made a trip to the cemetery laid down on his grave
Took a handful of sleeping pills, death she craved
To her disappointment around noon the next day she woke up
Trudged back home, knowing she would have to drink the wrath from her mother's cup

Fast forward a few years
There was still plenty of tears
The sins of a mother is like no other
On the little girl they covered and smothered
The little girl knowing only pain as love
The girl married a man that beat and shoved

After four kids of her own, 3 daughters and a son
She found the key to her rusty cage and made a run
She was bound and determined thier childhood would be full of fun

For man's wicked way she had been shown
So for 13 years her and her kids lived all alone
She tried her hardest to protect them from the monsters
Only family was let close enough to love and foster

She didn't realize her mother had married ANOTHER *******
The little girl's  SON'S soul was tossed into the fire
Though she questioned her children all the time, the results was the same
Her son suffered in silence and shame
Even though the little girl didn't know, she was mom and she was to blame
All of her love couldn't heal her sons pain

The years ticked by
She lived under the darkest of skies
Her son's anger grew
He's words created scars that where new
Along with the constant every two year visits of the abusive alcoholic she had once been chained to

That girl decided her kids where grown and with her life she was through
Swallowed two bottles of pills
Praying it would cure all her ills
She went behind the veil to the dark quite abyss
Her children would be all she missed
Much to her chagrin
Those doctors brought her back to life again

Fast forward just two more years
There would be new founded fears
That abusive alcoholic made another visit, dragged her to the woods
***** her in the worst way he could
He left her miles from nowhere, bruised and bartered
More holes in her soul, ripped and tattered

That was a year ago
The darkness from it all still grows
She struggles every day
As she tries to keep the demons and darkness at bay
For her thoughts heavily weigh
When she thinks back on her life in decay

Are you wondering what happened to that little girl lost
How she lives on still paying the cost

Well you see
That Little girl is me

I'm still all alone
In my bedroom at home
That is where I cry
Screaming at a non existing God why
Why, I was only given a few happy years
With agony the rest was filled
Not understanding why I was spit out of deaths mouth, just to be ***** again
Tell me God, at the age of 8 what was my sin
Why was I condemned
Never to see blue skies again

There was a little girl that lived in a tree
She climbed up there so no one could see
She climbed up there so she could just be

She stayed up there so long she got leaves in her hair
She stayed up there so long she no longer cared

She didn't care about the mother missing her child
She didn't care about anything after awail

She was content up there in the sky
She was content up there and no one knew why

How long she stayed up there nobody knew
How long she stayed up there her feet like roots grew

She had stayed so long now she hadn't a choice
She had stayed so long now she no longer had a voice

Don't go looking for her she's no longer there
Don't go looking for her she no longer cares

She had become part of the tree
She had become part of it and no one could see
She had become part of it and now she could just be

That little girl up in the tree, use to be me

This is the story of a little girl
Who no longer loved herself
Despite trying again and again
But she was tired
(trying took a lot of energy, you know)

This is the story of a little girl
Who wanted so desperately to be wanted
She demanded others attention
But she never could get their love
(love is a hard thing to give, you know)

This is the story of a little girl
Who was exhausted, so very exhausted
Of always coming in last
That she gave up on first
(first was a hard thing to achieve, you know)

This is the story of a little girl
Who was so afraid of not capturing the moment
Not preserving that exact moment
That she forgot to live in it
(living is hard you know)

This is the story of a little girl
So afraid of the problems in front of her
That she never saw
Depression sneaking up behind her
(it strangled her, you know)

As she walked, she couldn't help but stop. Stare and cry. Tried to lie. Hide the truth she saw beyond. A little girl in a little pond. As night set in. The horror was about to begin. Mommy said you left me. The only thing she could see. This little girl turned  white. And disappeared into the lake into the night. She ran home. Looking for the comfort of someone. But on her bed all that sat was the little girl and the cat. The little girl layed there damp. Next to her layed the broken lamp. She had hit her with it long ago. Then dumped her in the lake below.

There was once a little girl
Called Little Sorrow
There was never a smile that grazed her face
Nor a moment of happiness in her life
She learned to live with the silence
Learned to embrace the solitude
Cried her tears alone until one day she stopped
There wouldn't be a place big enough for holding all the tears she cried
Little Sorrow simply watches with blank eyes and an immobile face
As the world around her passes
Yet she remains still

You wander around the forest looking for your next meal..
You're silent, as you wander alone in the forest.
You smelled a lovely sensation, and walked toward it.
You came across a little cabin in the forest, where a small family lived.
You looked into the window and saw a little girl sitting in the window sill
You thought to yourself, "dinner?"
She looked back at you and said with a soft voice,
"You're a sly little fox aren't you? Now, go home to your family, before my father see's you."
He did, but not right away, he stared, and listened, and did as she said.

There is a little girl in a flowery sundress who is giggling and skipping through a field.
The little girl decided to make a flower crown.
She picked each flower carefully, and she examined each silk petal.
Her eyes squinting with excitement as she wove the stems together.
When she was finished she looked at the crown for a long time.
She decided that it wasn't very good.
She hated it.
She dug a hole and put the very special wilted flowers back where she found them.
She dug and dug and patted with her little fingers until the dirt was stuck in her nails.
She tried to make the little plants stand up straight again.
She couldnt.
She kept digging until she could fit in the hole quite nicely.
She reburied herself, scooting the soft dirt onto herself as she stood in the hole slowly inhaling the gritty powder.
Once she was completely buried she struggled to push her hand out of the ground.
She barely held the beautifully weak flowers just above the dirt.
The flowers needed to be beautiful again. Sacrificing herself was the only way that she could think of to make them feel normal one last time.
She was running out of air.
One breath in.
Her hand wavered as she gripped harshly onto the green stems.
One breath out.
The delicate flowers and small dirt stained fingernails slowly relaxed and layed down in the dirt to rest.
No breath in.

The boy next door
He moved here when we were both still little
Years and years ago
He used to come over
and play monopoly with me
And we'd argue about the rules
But he was one year older
And back then it didn't matter
But we slowly grew
like two flowers on a single stem
up and apart
I started to notice him for what he was
Green eyes and freckles
A smile like twilight's glow
Muscular and attractive
With his red baseball cap
And his music blasting
from his open garage door
And I like him
But he sees me as a little girl
I peek through the curtains
Every time I hear the echoing
of a basketball hitting the pavement
I watch him and catch his eyes every so often
An addictive terrified thrill courses through me everytime
Now he can drive
And I'm still so small to him
But time goes on
Now I'm a big girl
I'm not the little girl who plays with his little sisters anymore
I am just me
He came for dinner one night with his family
And I tried to sit next to him
But it didn't work out
But he is breathtaking
It's been years
When will I stop being a little girl to him?
When will he see me as the girl next door
Maybe never
But to me
He will always be incredible
He will always be
The boy next door

Repost if you have or had a "boy next door".