So soon, long gone...
Your time it was...
Nothing but the cold memory you left,
Nothing but empty sadness.
A lingering rain remains,
Not of the sky...
Wholely mine.
This sunny day parade,
wonderful if you had stayed.
Resolute with nothing...
I will keep walking...
One day, will I find?
Meaning to this flux of rain and shine.

I'm surrounded by the feeling of doom,
This is only the beginning of the pain!
My life a mere part of this game,
Visible at every turn, feel I'm being followed,
Feel death is watching me, every single day,
It's violent, my stomach, dry mouth-I swallow,
Every thing will wind up going down the drain.

It's only a matter of time...

Years ago I used to think it was a value...
Not to swear in front of "grandma,"
Be clean cut and tidy all the time,
Follow all the rules, straight A's at school,

Buuuuut...when I got older...

Ooooops! Said a swear word, a sprinkle of donut
Over my fat belly, the world on the blink
Is dragging me under one cell at a time,
Toward my eventual demise, so I can drink
Coffee and just wait for everything to stop,
It's like we're all being stalked by death,
I'm really feeling dizzy,
This cold scentless style-free flat linen bed,
Then I breath until I know I no longer can.
The lamp dims, the hospital spinning.

In the air, cold as you
I can only see a half of the moon
And I laugh as I realize its leaving me, too
Cause you think that'll always be there
But you come home one day and
Where?

The snowflakes remind me of you
The bracelets, the things that they do
The flowers, colored so bright
Jeans the flavor of night

I heard you say you're gonna know
I'll come back with a different glow
Even though we said goodbye
I still feel words lingering in the air
With the hope that you'll catch them out there

I'll be on the front lines
Fighting fireflies on a Golf Course
With a butterfly net

Collecting ghosts in mason jar
to plant back on the cemetery
The crows are making nests
in the skull of your family

They accidentally put
the wrong name on yours
And in Latin!
It's ok though, because you're
(were) Are?  a nihilist

The river Nile is the
best stream of consciousness
Known to man and of
Course that's where you drowned
your metaphorical thoughts
While you hung yourself above
a treadmill trying to pretend
you wanted to be a better
man

But you only ran away

The Stonehenge is the front gate
to your home
          It's made from
      billboards and
Pictures of static
When you're dead you
                        Live in White Noise

You're turning my lights
on and off
               as I'm trying to sleep
haunting me in
my over easy eggs
making the yolk run
in words "Miss me?"

And of course I do
But you are as good a my imaginary friend

When I'm walking in the
park with all the scarecrows
you make the dandelions
float, no amount of
wishes is bringing you back

I know boards of wood are
easier to you than the termites
eating the tumor in my brain
          from the insanity you're causing me

So instead I paper mache my
room with love letters from you
that got lost in the mail
because you stole them for me
A banksy bankrupt in original thought

I'm building a tiny forest
             of matches
If I can't sleep I'm joining you

So you pack your bags, hobo
style but with
Picnic baskets and dead leaves
Seancing yourself
With the crystal ***** of my eyes

I lost you in some newspaper ad
about a Home for sale
Does it come with a family?
How is that legal?
But I lost you because I bought the wrong copy and couldn't find that one blurry word that was you saying
Good morning

I lost you at sea
  And in my dreams
      And to your own hands
   And to my own memory

I'm dancing with wolves
Called Alzheimer's
because I'll die
with a disease of age
Instead of house burning, building leaping
Front Page

Then we'll go live in abandoned
amusement parks with creaky
Ferris wheels turning
Like you in your grave
And me with the Cycle of Life

Tears float by... endless streams

Like snowflakes, slowly falling.

Coliding with dead earth...



A railroad stretches for miles through a sterile monotone landscape...
Little embers still smolder in their cribs....

A town of fleeting memories and a scent of wet flames...

Layer after layer of thick smog... inhaling...

corroding... turning black my tongue..


I lick the ice from her cheeks... her frozen sorrow so bitter....

bitter with defeat...


Her corpse so fragile, dissolved in the glacial waste...
a trail of blood...
A bridge for me to follow...


A shadow of what i once was....


And my hope melts like snow in the sun...


Spring has come....

Seeking those lonely ones,
Every step watched, *dark shadows hidden,
Ritual of the **** *planned, prepared, precision,  
Is the key to the departing of life,
All will fear that moment,
Looking behind as well as in front,
Kill or be killed,
Is the reaction to that moment of a death,
Life is in their control,
Let the blood seep,
Every moment is a last lingering  breath,
Right now you realise your **time is up.

I can barely stand
The nearness of you.

Your sleeping body shifts
And you capture me with slumbering arms.
The warm breath at the back of my neck
Melts the frozen parts of me,
But there is no use for a lukewarm heart.

Can't you see how your fingertips linger
Or how you scorch me with the warmth of your skin?
This closeness could be the end of me.

You, all of you,
Eyes like chocolate
And lips like strawberries,
I want it all.

And your touch
Is driving me mad.

The next time you go home,
don't let your palm linger on the doorknob on your way out.
Just throw out the old toothbrush she hasn't come to use in months
and take down the painting above your bed
coated in colors that reminded her of *****, grass-stained knees and dandelion bracelets;
and don't pretend that homesick
is something you could ever feel without her shoes at the door.