I’ve been trying to flutter away
From that beautiful smile which shone brighter
Than anything I had ever envisioned
I’ve been trying to flutter away
Because I know if I try hard enough
My wings will become larger and majestic
And my name, written amongst the stars
Staggering, tumbling and quivering
Like a small dove riding against a windstorm
I’ve been trying to flutter away
Today my heart beats relentlessly quick
As if begging me to falter and realize
I’ll never get near the sun without melting away

As much as I try, the cyclone vows to break me apart
Spilling my feathers around a world of longing and craving
As of now, I still can’t fly so high
However, I’m not like Icarus
My wings aren’t frail and made of wax
I’ve been trying to flutter away
Eventually I’ll reach the sun
And the day when my memories spent
Alongside your beautiful smile
Which I still love and cherish
Will become just a warm and gentle breeze
Of the past

Oh, Lily
How beautifully you lie there,
In the curly waves of the river
Golden beams gently touch your skin
As a way to wake the sleeping saint

A trumpet of petals calls me from afar;
It is the only thing that I hear
Blaring in a quiet hearth
Where a name without vowels is engraved
I wander, unaware of its gentle retreat.

I watch it dance
Six needles holding the stamen
Like a surfboard grasping for its life
One more whirl of the winds,
Then it would fall on the carpel's feet.

I sojourned in this garden once;
You might never see me or I might never see you
Let Zeus lurk for Hera's liquid at last
'Till it splashes, stained, and bloom
In every season of my mind.

Consumed by your beg,
of being held close,
my arms out and open,
I promise you the most.
You pray for the love,
from bodies you see,
I’m hiding in shadows,
please come to me.

I drown in limerence,
and plead for your heart,
a fragmented augment,
we feel so apart.
The sun glistens down,
on your sunflower skin,
I fell for your soul,
and intelligence within.

I hear your desperation,
the longing you hold,
i sit and observe,
the warmth you behold.
Behind glass-stained windows,
and cinnamon-filled scents,
I distance myself from you,
with the best of intents.

Men. Boys. Small obsessions.
I want to be free of them.
Of me?

I get too drunk too quickly. Too excited.
A sloppy kiss in a badly lit kitchen can unlock something deep inside me.

A flicker of waking desire.
Nothing tastes better than a secret.

Nothing better than the soft touch of the lips you are supposed to stay away from.
I trace my fingers over the questions he smeared all over me.

Always cold and restless. How can I stop it?
Do I want it to stop when I’m this young and problematic?
  
Hungry for emotion, I want to get drunk off others' lips.
I want to wander in the drunken haze cloaked in the smoke of gossip.

A word from him. Hell of a digital rollercoaster.

I am easily hooked, always happy to surrender. Does he want me enough to keep me stable for a few weeks?

Do I love him? Do I hate him?
I only need him.

Is this inspiration or pure desperation?
Should I be grateful or furious?
For now, I am both.
  
Is this the burden of inadequacy that comes with being a poet?
Are we the most shallow of all?

What if this tumultuous destruction of my fevered ***** mind proves itself completely pointless?

I am made out of buzzing question marks.
  
My heart is on the verge of exploding.
My stomach is corroded with terror.
I can only handle this much.

I can’t do this anymore.

This is the best thing that has ever happened to me.