I talked to god
And he told me to be vulnerable
I asked why as I'm already full of cuts and bloodied. 
You can see I'm battle worn. 

He said show them your vulnerability
So I did 
And I got cut up some more. 

I'm left wondering why.

I don't understand it
I don't know why
But the pain is so deep
I wish I could die

Been praying to the saints
Demanding why
They don't take me away
So I can fly.
 
Maybe then I can get some peace
Maybe then I'll be free
Maybe then I can get some sleep
Without the pain reminding me

But the saints never ******* answer me.

We can’t go back to the beginning.
If we had known the ending,
would we still be on this road?

But I understand —
you want to know what it’s like
to be far from home,
why I can’t sleep at night.

I understand.

You want to know
why I always order the same drink twice
at that bar on the corner.

I understand.

You want to know
what it’s like to stand
on the wrong side of the history.
And honestly,
there comes a moment
when you get used to it,
and it starts to feel right.

It’s okay.
I’m okay now.

But I appreciate the concern —
keep digging,
keep asking about my life,
and one day
you’ll know about me.

कशात हुडकावा आनंद
हे आजकाल कळेनासं झालंय,
आनंदी राहायचं कारण
आजकाल मिळेनासं झालंय.

जुने दिवस आठवावे म्हणतो,
जरा भावनिक होईन म्हणतो...
पण मग पडतो प्रश्न येऊन –
की भावना तरी उरल्यात का आता?
आश्रू अनावर व्हायला,
ते अश्रू तरी उरलेत का आता?

प्रेमाला शोधायच्या आशेने
आयुष्याच्या जंगलात भटकतो,
खोट्या आशेच्या नदीत
थोडा वेळ पहुडतो.
पण होईन का मी ओला प्रेमाने त्या नदीत?
का होईल मला भास,
आणि पडेन मी दुःखाच्या दरीत?
का दिसेल मला मृगजळ
त्या भाबड्या, प्रेमळ हरणाचं?

जाऊदे ते सगळं –
मी जाऊन काहीतरी खातो,
पाणीपुरीतलं पाणी
जरा मिटक्या मारत पितो.
पण मग येतं डाएट आडवं
आणि दाखवतं जाडी माझी –
"३६ ची पॅन्ट घालायची लायकी आहे का तुझी?
पोटावर पडल्यात वळ्या,
आणि गाल झालेत गुबगुबीत,
हत्ती सारखे पाय तुझे,
शरीर दिसतंय बटबटीत!"

मग आठवतं मला करिअर,
आणि मिळवू म्हणतो पैसा...
करिअरच्या टेन्शनने
क्षीण होऊन जातो नाहीसा.
इतके श्रीमंत होऊ की
असेल बंगला, गाडी,
भरपूर फ्लॅट घेऊ,
महिन्याला येतील भाडी.
पण तिथे तरी हा माजोर्डा रूबाब
देईल का मला सुख?
आणि एवढं सगळं करून शेवटी मला
राहील का आनंदाची भूक?

कशात हुडकावा आनंद?
हे आजकाल कळेनासं झालंय...
आनंदी राहायचं कारण
आजकाल मिळेनासं झालंय.

The death of a somebody
Is life affirming.
My favorites attend
In the ante-room,
Eyeshot from the shell.
They appeared to be telling
Off-colored jokes,
Childish giggles, anxious glances.
Others talked nervously on their health,
Their swing and trips, car salesmen, and politics.
Violet remarked on the wedding, the bride's redolent dress,
Brocade and settings.
The vows were personal and promising.
Funeral Home is an ironic euphamism;
But the coffee is strong and bitter,
I burned my tongue.
I didn't see much black, mostly pastels.
It's a multi-media presentation of family,
Old and getting precariously older,
Cavorting at the cottage,
Sitting under Christmas trees,
Holding up scarves and mittens.
Everyone smoked then. Everything's hidden.
Someone's grandson touched his hand,
Then recoiled into the nearest waist.
Except for the flowers and box,
There was vibrancy and planning
Where to meet following the graveside,
For a drink and toast to why we're here,
To why any of us are here at all.

What if there was no light,
No inclination to fight,
Mountains, all feasible to climb;
To be in anyplace, and anytime.

What if love was a verb,
No pitfalls, no feelings to curb,
True loves lost in abyss,
No one to meet nor miss.

What if death was avoidable,
and people weren't exploitable,
Earth as Eden;
No sin, no wrong, even.

What if sadness was eliminated,
No choice debated,
Just action, speaking before thinking,
Leaving all people sinking.

For death is still a shadow,
The bite-mark is in the apple.
Love is fate,
ships of sadness and pain:
Humanity as the first mate.

Always surrounded with quandary and question...
But one thing yet to mention:
Eliminate all questions of "what if" in mind,
Then there shall be answers to find.