dear basil,

watch the sunrise
remember how lucky you are to see it
smell the morning air
keep it in your lungs because you can
water your plants
show them unconditional love

love yourself unconditionally
because you're lucky, because you can

love,
basil

This is the other letter, the one you're never gonna read, the side B.

First thing I wanna say: I am a sucker for your accent, I felt strongly attracted to you physically but I also liked your writing, your drawings, your sense of humor... you just saw life in a different way than I do.

Meeting you made me realize that I don't want someone that feels like it's there but it isn't, someone that would want not to be seen with me as often because of what people may think. I don't want someone that spends a lot of time in its own head, someone that really doesn't wanna be with me but somehow feels forced or acts on "not to be a bad person".

Meeting you made me angry, and I'm understanding why, I felt like you admired me but you didn't love me the way I wanted to, you didn't love me, period, and also you didn't let me help you, help you with what? To be less isolated, less in a bad mood, less having a bad time, but that was not for me to try and fix.

But what I realized the most, what made me upset & even resentful, was the fact that I felt I didn't put limits, that once again I spent too much time with someone that wasn't what I deserved (or more like it wasn't what I wanted?). That I somehow ended up having expectations of what you would mean to me and what I would mean to you. I knew you weren't thinking about me, writing about me, yet here I was choosing you. And all of this also tells me I should give myself a break for wanting to explore a different type of relationship, because this is my favorite way of learning, by trying it myself.

You are not a bad neither a good person, you're just a person, as I am too, that is living with whatever it's been learning through this 20 something years of existence and we happened to find each other on a rainy day.




P.S. I still keep the memories.

Many things I wish to tell you
Many I itch to expose you to
But you are not mature enough
Since the times are not yet right

So I hide my stories in my words
Cover my thoughts in my actions
And hope you will one day grow
To read the letters I write

I will it to you
Stored in time
Hidden clearly before your eyes
Waiting for your older self to sight

Actions speak louder than words
But my actions are wrapped in ambiguity
And my words leave prints on this shore
Hoping you don't follow one day with light

It was for the best that we choose to go our separate ways.We tried to save what was left of it but wasn't enough to hold us together.
I still remember the first time we talked.I was acting little bit awkward and yet you listened to everything I had to say with your sunflower smile. I was so excited like a little child.
It isn't anyone fault that what we had didn't workout.I hope when we meet one day that we can laugh about it together.
But I don't want to meet you again. Things you have said have left scars on me. I know I also said some horrible things to you of which I am not very proud of. I am very sorry about it. After everytime we fought my eyes were always filled with tears. But I still love everything and every bit of you. Even though my time with you was not that very long, it was the best time of my life. Thankyou, I am grateful for everything you brought in my life.
Life without you was hard at first but now I am doing ok and smiling. I know you are too even though you aren't, you will be cause you are the strongest person that I know of.
I am happy with the ways things are right now between us. Let's hope we never met again. Even if we happen to saw each other let's do the thing that we always talked about, acting like strangers. It was a hell of a ride with you and worth every penny. Sayonara

all my life i have been bound by the letter c
how fitting since it seems
to be shaped like manacles
ready to clasp around my wrists
around every corner
every turn i took i found her unchallenged in her rivalry  
she chose to haunt me
down to the colour of my eyes
i could not escape her
she was always there, a shadow in the corner
for have you considered
she cowered in every single line
of this poem, reflected within every word

My Adonis,
If you were the morning
I'd be the morning star

If you were the evening
I'd be the evening star
I'd stay above the horizon
Where
the shy sky and the lovelorn land surprisingly snog
The surroundings without fog
I'd become vesper
like a silver
sequin

If you were the scorching sun
I,
Venus would go around you
I'd melt
Or rather
I'd be a stunning sunflower
I'd gaze at you
Yours
Forever
Venus

they always talk,
but can't listen.
it's okay.
i'll listen to your stories,
every detail of them.

when i look at the mirror,
i always think you're pretty.
so don't compare yourself with others
and just focus on us.

you were always so selfless.
but honestly,
among other people,
i love you the most.

i would fight fiercely
yet wait patiently
for you.
so please, accept me.
love yourself.

There’s no post in the box
At the top of the drive.
The sun won’t write us
‘fore the clouds arrive.

Leaves and plastic
Get caught in the rail.
We pull them out
So the gate won’t fail.

But who walks by
Or on bikes roam
Beyond the corner
From where we call home?

We can only hide far away
Behind the bougainvillea’s green,
In our bricks and glass,
In the spaces between.

And still no letter
And yet far better.