i watch the way your fingers touch the kitchen counter
so thoughtful and unaware of contact

when i notice my own fingers
they're gripping at the seams between the tiles

your eyes, half open and searching for words
when the night becomes dense and the world stays quiet

sometimes i feel it only stays quiet for us
for as long as it does

It keeps me awake.
Hours.
      Days.    
Weeks.      

Repeat.

The body aches. The muscled pain.
My heart screams to slow its pace.
Just a hallowed shell of who i was,
Now forever a worrier.
A woman without trust.

Connections are few,
I'm trapped in a cell
The corners of my mind fog the clear view,
What used to be simple is now not without hue.

Every night the roof gets darker
But my minds awake with irrelevant chatter.
Clutch my chest to lessen the unbearable pain,
The heart starts screaming to slow its pace.
And now it's another night it will keep me awake