They say that wisdom comes with age
that knowledge slowly worms it's way into your mind
that each day brings forth new ideas, new connections, new moments
that molds your not fully developed brain into a somewhat more stable shape.

I have moved another year forward
now have 22 years under my belt.
22 years of jam packing tidbits and statistics
from places I've never been,
and yet that aged wisdom still escapes me. ​
I feel as though I have Benjamin Buttoned myself
to a time before I ever existed,
an empty chasm of isolation where asking a question
feels even more difficult than finding an answer.

These pieces of myself are falling away
as easily as my baby teeth fell from my mouth
that metalic taste faded like the edges of a picture
labeled summer '03.

My eyes are crinkled,
lines mark my cheeks whenever I smile,
and my mind is fogged with the things I feel
I don't know.

The rule of the self is exalted above
any adherence to any thing/feeling.
Their notions of doubt ruling over existence and
is in the supreme station of reason and power.
It sheds the former existence of yesterday
inasmuch as we are always recreated.
The philosopher's stone which
can conceive of no other thought
except the originality of the self.

It drinks the seven seas as if a drop and
asks, "Is there yet any more?"
No authority save the intimate friend
can find its way here.
Every stranger is betrayed and
its chariot becomes outworn for the rider.

And when they look at themselves
they behold their powerlessness in
the face of every nation, which
simply makes them embark on
the conquest of their own heart.

Every listener is as a bullet to their
enemy.
Every truth is as a fallen warrior
for their Cause.
No wind is sufficient to curtail their
sense of direction.
Every human acknowledged is as a piece
of sand supporting their path.

There is no end to their perturbing of the skies.
The poem is unfinished as the scribe of
their tale is astounded by the
regeneration of their march.

I need to feel small to go big
I need to feel little to dig
And sprout roots
To keep me grounded and high
On universal knowledge
From the other side

I write because I feel 🔥✨
I feel the Universe 🪐✨
And it feels oh so very real ⭐️✨
It courses through my veins 🩸
Composes every cell 🧬
Vibrates it’s symphony 🎶✨
In my body 💃🏼✨
Every tree 🌲✨
Every living being 🐶✨
The dead 🧟‍♀️❤️✨
As far as the “I” can see 🔭👀✨

Slumber used to offer me such vistas
as to awe and wholly set my mind free
Then, forbidden ana snatched sleep from me
I read of Them, coming from far reaches
of the Void, beyond our souls' frail cages
Star-spawned, They found Earth with ravenous glee
to feed on the dreams of all that would be
Formless They come, with dirges and vexes

You'll feel Their touch when you awake screaming,
when you smell rot even on a sunny day
When horrid waking visions are unfurled
of a thousand eyes in darkness gleaming
Now I no longer sleep, knowing that They
occupy, beside us, this fetid world

Now every day is a challenge

A hard-hitting task to accomplish

Morning gives me a parcel of works

Evening ceases my cognizance from me

And night…

What to say?!

Takes away my kip.

But encounters are what makes life interesting

Appending them gives me pleasure

Overshadowing them gives me eternal happiness.

The power of play 🧸✨
Is more than just a mechanism to keep the blues away 😔✨
It is the catalyst 🔥✨
To self exploration 🌈✨
Learning what I like and don’t like 👍✨
Coming to terms with feelings 💧✨
Minimizing future frustrations 👹✨
Acquiring knowledge with meaning 📚✨

Educational hangover
You rewrote my internal story
Switched around the dialogue
Kept my life anything but boring

Educational hangover
You got me drunk on knowledge
Faded on grades
Homework stacked
Books for days

Distraught,
Destroyed,
Dis,
embodied.

My halls,
The walls,
my wicked falls turn'd from stone,
dissolved to nary a diffid tone thrown by ******* bones.

An amorphous form born from the aimless mourning that now has no space to face and call my own.

Telltale swarms of which I myself did warn would come,
Once and again I crumble from what once which I would succumb.

Myself. Dear. Gone.

I am,
afloat in limbo forever struck with what,
I Left only to silence my mind until once again,
I would find the cut.

...
Page 2

My totality revised,
Scratched through like the words unworthy.
Smoothed over the rough draft,
Autobiography progressive,
Nary writing another day's pages.

Sleep and wake in fear
Spirits cause everything
Consultations and exultation to a deaf God
Fast and pray lest you fail
God is hardest to please
God is dead to us
We buried him in ignorance

False prophets - our ancestors danced with them
False prophets - our parents fell victim
False prophets - we are enslaved

I see this
I see that
Our demons never fight
The salt and oil we douse at midnight
They protect us

False prophets- we listened
False prophets- we believed
False prophets- we are enslaved

Wives hide nakedness from husbands
Strip from cloth to thought for them
Faith overburdened with naivety
Knowledge that redeems,
Lost to teachings of captivity and unrighteousness

False prophets - our ancestors danced with them
False prophets - our parents fell victim
False prophets - we are enslaved

The greed that keeps them afloat
Sinks our soul and glory in muddy waters
Shame only comes at the end
The end comes at our loss
We fear those we should love and love those we should fear

False prophets!