Oh, blessed are the dust settling
on these old faded magazines,
it was my life to read them,
inch my hands over the ******
on-screen final girls imprinted.
The heroine that kicked the nest...
and won the day with a swift
ball busting kick between the legs.

Once again, everything has changed.
This time, it was for the worst.
But we'll be okay.
Because we've always thought it was more important
To help an injured runner than finishing first.
We do this because in the end,
It doesn't matter who finishes first or last.
As long as we stick together,
No matter what we face, we can kick its ***.