It's that cold, small lump
Lying in my stomach here
Keeping me away.
I wish I had the guts to
I wish I had bravery.

(The warmth of your chest could've melted the ice in my heart)
I always thought
No matter what
I could seek saftey in your arms
But ****
Your arms were not made to be wrapped around me
And the warmth of your chest and the sound of your heartbeat
Were not mine to keep
(Your heartbeat could've started mine)

I put my arms around you
to keep you warm
and you make sure
you remain cold.


F.Z.N

I knew the day would come.
My heart swelled and shattered
Like glass off of my ribcage,
It was nothing but dust now.
In an instant my heart became soluble.
Without warning,
my heart was inevitably yours once more.
I wanted you to never come back
I hoped you would make your home in Boston.
My delicate heart was not ready for you so soon
And I was not ready to give my heart away.
Especially to you.
But she ran from me,
Slipped through the cracks in my rib cage
and ran straight for you.

So here I am still sitting in silence
Still replaying impracticable situations
That will never become reality.
My heart is long gone now,
She always ran faster than my head.
With a mind of her own,
I am now heartless

Do the constellations align
       When my eyes
    Lock to yours?
Sleepless again
      I wander this ghost ship
   Feel my skin caress my bones
      Eternally emaciated
           To dream of
               Living amongst angels
   I once saw
          My phantom hourglass
      Breaks under the pressure
            Cracking
           Decaying from the weight
                Of that thought
        So minute
                Yet incomprehensible
        Through dulled senses

i want to be alone
so please don't pick up the phone.

i love you but i just need time to breathe
trust me please.

i ask that you put your love on hold, only for a second or two
i promise you, my heart will always be yours to keep.


(a.d)