Letting go of what you never had
Is the hardest task of all
I wore that today with my coke cola sweater....
And a coke bottle figure
I wore it like i had something to prove
Cuz losing you is the worst newz
I recieved this year
I used to stare from afar and dream
Now i just wonder why u ****** up things
Or why i even tried
Now i try to live a lie
And try not to stare and try not to hate
Try not to love
The very shape of your face
And your smile
And your hair
And im in air
Im afloat
And today i wore my coke cola sweater
And a coke bottle figure
With a little missing you
And it was the hardest thing to do
U used to be a daydream
Now youre just misery
And u try your best to inflict the most pain
Im just insane
Youre doing nothing
AND im not a thought on your mind
I never got an ounce of your time
When all you did was occupy mine
You were a movement
So i wore my heartbreak
And a coke cola sweater
With a coke bottle figure
And it was the hardest thing to feel nothing at all
For you.

People may think
People may stare
I shrug them off
I do not care

Let them think what they want
Let them believe what they will
My mind is made up
My heart is still

I know where we stand
I know what we are
They may assume things
They may look from afar

Come ask me in person
Come ask for what’s true
Don’t be scared I don’t bite
Don’t debate what you "knew”

He would tell you the truth
He would answer the same
Go ask him next
Go ask for his claim

We are on the same page
We both know how we feel
At least I think we do
At least that’s how I deal

i parked my car in your driveway
promising myself i was over you
and waited for a moment
promising myself i was over you
my head rested in my hands
promising myself i was over you
i heard myself open the car door
promising myself i was over you
and shut it
promising myself i was over you
i jogged up your gravel driveway
promising myself i was over you
and almost turned around
promising myself i was over you
i hopped up the porch steps
promising myself i was over you
and knocked three times
promising myself i was over you
i blinked
promising myself i was over you
and you were suddenly there
promising myself i was over you
no words were spoken
promising myself i was over you
your blue eyes like the sea
promising myself i was over you
you smiled
promising myself i was over you
and i realized you didn’t hate me
promising myself i was over you
you asked if i was okay
promising myself i was over you
i lied
promising myself i was over you
“yeah, i’m better than ever”
promising myself i was over you
you said you were glad we could still be friends
promising myself i was over you
i lied again
promising myself i was over you
“me too.”
realizing i wasn’t over you

I wish you’ve never heard me laugh,
I wish you’ve never seen me cry.
I hate how without even looking, you can tell I’m upset,
I hate when you can tell I’m lying.
I want every night to be like November,
I want you to race back to my house and spend two hours with me in the driveway.
I want to be your biggest fan.
I love how you say you’ll call,
I love the tattoo on your right shoulder that you never posted,
I love how irritated you get when I say ‘never mind’
I love to imagine I mean something to you, maybe just a fraction of a thought.
I want to yell at you and pick fights,
I want to tell you you’re insane when you swerve on the road to avoid the potholes,
I want to be the best friend you thought you didn’t need,
I want to hold your hand.
I know you’re leaving me in the rubble,
I know you’re driving far, far away,
I know why you’re leaving too.
I want to know your heart like how you’ve come to live in mine,
I want to know you like how you’ve come to know me.

Maybe in May we’ll drive to New York,
Maybe in May you’ll say we could work.
I’ve loved you since January,
On my 17th birthday,
When another boy’s arm was around me but I wanted it to be yours.
When I looked around and saw you first.
I want to drive away with you,
But I can never be with you,
I’ll always just be a faint smell from the passenger seat,
Smelling like a candle that’s been blown out,
I hope my name never is meaningless in your mouth,
I love your wood-grain heart,
I think I’ll see you soon. Four months will change a man.

Roads are damp
weather's cold
You and I in a silent mode

day's fading
air's blowing
a liner convos
with phrases so upsetting

said could not pursuit,
for I'm just a friend
guess, this special treatment
is about to end

The horns played softly,
But my hand dangled freely.
And the show went on.