Placeless
Perhaps impossible
But without place
Is how I feel
My feelings
A place
Inside a place
I am a place
My place
Where
Pause and
Placed hands
Pace and
Trace
An outline of
Home

I only feel normal when I’m by myself, adding 1 person and out comes the stress.

I don’t feel it’s right or fair to be this way for the ones I love and care.

I replay our recent times in the front of my mind only to feel like I let them down.

I try to plan ahead pretending I can turn these self-defense mechanisms off.

My wife deserves me at my best, my love deserves to experience the same man that exists alone.

My children deserve to witness and receive an unconditional love without past grief.

My family is my rock and stone, my family that reside within our home.

My wife so strong she fills voids before they can become cracks….

Poetry, brain music, exercise, outdoors, notebooks, research, studying and good routines… a few remedies taken the most!!!

Alone, in the empty movie theatre
between the carpets
my eyes in half-light

closed, back and thighs
firmly in the chair travelling
through the buzzing space

of busy traffic
of merging and outgoing
in the distance and somewhere

a song slides by
- familiar emotions
on exits without a destination

going around the network of roads
Therefore and because no one
would remember the song

it points out, in half-light, only half
the way, but this does not matter
in the one universe of the journey

~
Two minutes of perseverance
two minutes of curiosity

Seeking out life
returning with ingenuity

It's all about surfaces and thresholds
and winter hemisphere

Each of us wants so badly
to be that next satellite

Or at least be allowed
to dream we're a small dark spot
moving across the Sun's face
~

Who am I?
It’s life’s greatest question.
Life’s biggest quest.
We go through life with this feeling.
The feeling of needing to know
But not fully knowing what we are missing.
People become anxious,
Anxious of not knowing their purpose.
They become scared,
Scared they will never know.
But the reality is,
Life’s beauty is in the unknown.
The journey of finding your purpose.
So enjoy it.
Enjoy the unknown.
Enjoy the mystery.
Because in the end,
Whether big or small,
You make an impact on this world.

I'm worried —
I may have to destroy myself,
to walk down the path I've chosen,
that who I am today —
is not up to the journey ahead,
that fear,
makes every step further,
that much more precarious,
maybe that's every journey —
casting away the weight,
that keeps you stuck,
I don't know who may be me —
when we reach our destination,
I only hope we will be someone,
who can see I to I,
to be someone full of compassion —
for those still walking their paths,
someone I needed.

boy meets girl.
like rose petals
brushing her cheek,
he whispers a warning:
don't get too close.
i’m not here forever.

as if it’s a choice.

girl says,
i really like you.
face like the sun,
trembling, she offers
a half-open heart.

he says,
i love you too,
like an unexpected hug
before the goodbye.
then he leaves —
just like he promised.
but he forgets
a part of himself
is now hers to keep.

All seems different,
like a blurry landscape
with vanishing maps.
The distance from the past
keeps growing.
I slice through space and time,
on the chosen path,
along a trajectory of circumstances.
Against the denial of access,
against the gate closing,
just to hold together what was apart.

How the squirrel drops the nut-hat,
Perfectly where its to be used
For the millipedes to hide in
But I’m just confused

I have no skills other than to annoy
Unless my mouth is to be used
For reasons like his and her joy
But I’m still confused